Jimjilbang: A Real Bathing Experience

I have never experienced anything like a jimjilbang before, but my Indian girlfriend has spoken about these Korean bath spas a few times. She's in love with them because of similar spas in India that go through the same steps to cleanse, scrub, and purify your skin.

She even demonstrated a few modified steps within her women's locker room which included:

Pool. Sauna. Shower. Cleanse. Scrub. And, I mean scrub hard. Condition hair. Apply face masks. Sit in eucalyptus steam room. Then shower again.

A few products I used in the shower included:

The Body Shop's Cocoa Butter Body Scrub, $18

Moroccan Intense Hydrating Hair Mask, $33

Oil of Olay's Silk Whimsy Cleansing Body Wash for $6 to keep my skin and hair soft and moisturized.

They offer the body wash in a massaging soap bar for $6 that I use occasionally too. The bumps in the soap really do feel like a wooden massage tool.

I also swear by Vaseline Cocoa Butter Vitalizing Gel Body Oil for $6 when I get out of the shower too. Me and one of my girls even use it as tan oil at the pool. Heh heh!

It was by far one the most refreshing treats, I have ever given myself in a locker room! Thanks partly to my girlfriend for scrubbing the dear life out of my entire backside with her scrub glove.

A 찜진방 jimjilbang is even better because it offers bathing areas, saunas, and common areas for snacking, watching tv, and napping. Most of them are open 24 hours and allow you to spend the night on a cot in a open area.

How exactly does this type of bath spa work?

First: you pay an entrance fee at the front desk. Then you receive a key fob on a bracelet and clothes to wear in the common area. You walk over to your designated gender bathing area. Put your own shoes and clothing in your locker. Pull out your shower caddy filled with goodies from your bag. This may include: shampoo and conditioner, a razor, toothbrush, a loofah, scrub cloth, body scrub, face mask,  and anything else you would like to use in the shower.

Second: you get naked! And grab a wash cloth too.

At first I was taken aback by the idea of a bath spa filled with naked women. If the thought makes you feel a bit uncomfortable.

I, for one, tried to imagine myself in this spa environment and could not picture it...like at all. Which is odd considering that I go to nude beaches in Martha's Vineyard...a place where old white men follow you to the ocean water and wait for you to come out, so they can have a friendly conversation with you.

So, being naked around women should not be a big deal. Yet it is! Maybe, because it's a confined space? And not open, like a beach. I always felt like laying on your towel nude was a private time on a  nude beach, and only when you got up to venture out to the ocean. You became fair game to be stared at by old men and fellow beachgoers.

I can only imagine at these spas. There is no 'down time' in which you can take a break from being stared at by others. Even if it is not intentional.

I am infamous for staring off in space at people.

Third: you take a shower because it is custom to take a shower before you get into any of the baths. As Americans, we already know this. However, not every country does this or believes it's necessary.

I have met some smelly foreigners too. I ain't saying where they are from either. Hmm!

Fourth: after you finish your shower, you choose a bath tub to soak in. There are several baths of various temperatures. They're either all in one huge room or various rooms.

*The idea is to go from a hot tub to a cold tub to increase the circulation in your body.

In the bathing area, you can use your scrubbing products or the ones the spa provides for you. For an extra fee, a spa worker can scrub you down until there isn't dead skin left on you. They do not scrub your private parts either. *In case you were wondering. They also offer massages as well for another fee.


Fifth: when you are done scrubbing and soaking and your gender designated area. You can put on the clothing given at the front desk. Then explore one of the dry saunas that may offer various aromas as well.

Some jimjilbang even have restaurants, cafes, massage chairs, and nail salons available for extra fees that are accrued on your key fob.

Whether you spend the night is up to you. Since you would be sleeping in a open room full of strangers of the same sex. But if you go with a few friends, it could be a pretty fun experience if you keep to yourselves.

I will definitely visit a 찜진방 jimjilbang when I get there!

Googling Seoul!

So.

 If you cannot already tell...I am the queen of google fucking and googling the fuck out of life!

Oh, yes!

Google isn't just a verb now, it's an adverb too.

I google everythang!

The reason for the twitch in my eye. The dinner menu before I arrive at a restaurant. Images of what a butt implant looks like. The price of a CHI flat iron. Will I die because my heart skips a beat every now and then? The best recipe for buttercream frosting. Why the hell are so many losers planking and owling? Asbestos exposure. Who invented those dreadful pajama jeans? The number of women that Lil' Wayne impregnated in the past three years. Where I can buy designer handbags that fell off the truck? Why all of a sudden am I lactose intolerant? The address to a website because I'm too lazy to play guessing games in the address bar...and facts about Seoul!

One worry of mine was getting lost there without directions in English. I smile now, because there are signs in English at subway and bus stops... and plenty of maps in English.

Sigh!

The funniest thing I learned today? There is a Tony Romas, TGI Fridays, Bennigans, McDonald's, Burger King, Pizza Hut, and Little Caesar's in Seoul.

Ha!

I just love me some potstickers from Fridays....wow, yum yum!

As far as handling my money is concerned. I can legally send 2/3 of my monthly check home. I can make out a certified check to myself and send it express mail to my bank for deposit, or wire money to a family member and have them make the deposit for me.

Now the housing price in Seoul is outrageous. The average cost to rent an apartment is $700 a month and to rent a house is $9,000 a month. But the prices I saw for apartments were between $1500 and $16,000 a month so I want to know where the cheap places are at! Because I cannot...I just might look for a studio apartment in a suburb outside of Seoul. My ass can walk and take the subway just fine...I am no stranger to commuting far. A monthly subway pass is $20, thank you very much!

One plus of living in Seoul are the military bases to help me feel at home with other Americans. The military base created it's own radio and tv stations for cable television. The radio sounds good to me. But if there's only one or two English channels? I am not buying cable. I'll probably just buy a shit load of DVDs. I have a lot of catching up to do on True Blood and Dexter anyway!

Something odd? I should bring my own sheets and towels because Koreans don't use them. So, they are expensive to buy there. I mean, huh? How the hell do they get dry then? Wiggle and shake? I'm not an animal! And sleeping without sheets is like sleeping without underwear to me. I need them! To feel protected from germs and too much close contact to things, just like my vajayjay. Hmm!

The good news: their sushi is thebomb.com and that makes me happy.net! That's right.

Okay, this is all I could find today. My bed is calling me now.

Sweet Dreams My Lovelies!

Seoul, Korea

Seoul will be my new home away from home next month (or early September depending upon when I obtain my working visa.)

Here I will begin a new teaching position and chapter of life. I must say too.  I have never felt so many mixed emotions at one time: happy...nervous...excited...scared..and anxious.

If you don't know a damn thing about Seoul. Don't feel bad because I don't either.

I just learned most of this a few months ago when researching teaching positions here.

To provide a little knowledge for the mind: Seoul is the capital with a population of 20,550,00.  It is the second largest city in the world. If you were wondering: the first largest city is Tokyo, Japan. The third largest city is Mexico City, Mexico, and the fourth largest city is New York City, New York.

Seoul is also known for being one of the safest cities in the world because of low crime rates. So, you don't have to worry about anyone popping a cap in your ass on the street or being abducted and cut into small pieces, like how the psychos in our country do you.

Drugs are a serious offense in Seoul too. Your behind can end up behind bars for a long time for being under the influence or selling a narcotic there.

The climate in Seoul mirrors our various seasons, but their Summers and Winters are way more mild than ours on the East Coast....and like traveling from South to North here, it gets colder the closer you get to the mountains there.

The beaches in South Korea are suppose to be beautiful! One of the most popular beaches, Sokcho Beach, is famous for its white sands and clear waters. You can get there by bus or train in under four hours.The only thing: Koreans do not sunbathe on them because they don't like for their skin to get dark. I was shocked because a beach is like candy to me. I just can't get enough...like ever. So, I don't mind if nobody is laying out there. That means there's more beach for me to lay on, and less creepy eyes staring.

Seoul is considered one the world's top ten financial and commerical centers because of company headquarters for Samsung, LG, Hyundai, Kia, and SK. Seoul was also named the World Design Capital for 2010 by the International Council of Societies of Industrial Design.

The section of Seoul that I'm teaching in is called Samseong; in which their global brand Samsung was named after long ago.

As of June 2011, Seoul began providing free wifi outdoors. The goal is for residents and visitors to obtain Internet access in 10,430 parks, streets and other public places by 2015.

The major religions in Seoul are Buddhism and Christianity. Their most popular national holiday is New Year's Day.

Seoul is home to over 100 museums including three national and nine official municipal museums. So, this means I'll have plenty to explore by myself and when you folks come to visit me.

Seoul's school system has a structure similar to our own. Only students spend six years in elementary school, three years in middle school, and three years in high school. They begin in the Fall and end school later in the Summer than we do here in the states.

Now, the shopping? I had to save the best information for last! Because shopping is bananas there! I know because one of my girlfriends lived there and talked about shopping like it was heaven. She told me there are a ton of shopping places literally everywhere that sell trendy cute clothing for dirt cheap. She talked about going on shopping trips that ended in spending $200....which is not a lot if you return home with 13 bags and an abundance of clothes for three different seasons. She told me not to bother packing too many things, because I'll end up wearing most of my new clothing anyway. So. I will definitely pack light!

This is all I can think of writing about now. But I will add more to this later.

Goodnight!

Why Megabus is a Mega-Not Ever Again

Maybe, it's me? But I always seem to run into trouble when traveling on public transportation. On the train, subway...and now bus, the Megabus.

[sighs]

Megabus and Bolt Bus are probably the most attractive buses to travel coach on because of their bright painted illustrations, cheap bus fares, and free wi-fi. The airfare ranges from $1 to $21. This be the reason right here, I hopped my skinny behind on one of them today. I'm attracted to bright colors, shiny objects, and anything that states that it is a dollar.

I'm one of the easiest consumers to target. There isn't a whole lot you have to do to convince me. I'm every salesperson's dream customer. All they have to do is tell me that my $200 jeans are excellent quality, won't shrink, and my booty looks extra fly and big in them, and I buy those suckers in bulk! I hate salespeople.

Back on subject!

I have yet to encounter a soul who has actually bought a ticket on any of these buses for a dollar. And to be honest, it makes me wonder how many tickets they sell for a $1. Is it only one per bus? You can't legally paint ads all over your bus about selling $1 tickets unless you do. So, maybe they give one or two tickets away on every bus for that price?

If anyone has gotten on one of these buses for a $1 please let me know and I will stop talking trash.

Til then...

I will start off with the vent cover that was falling down from the side into the aisle. It did strike me as a little odd. But listen, there were two open seats under it calling my name, so I plopped myself down in that window seat and put my pocketbook and coat in the other seat. I closed my eyes immediately and breathed a deep sigh of relief.

Three seconds later.

"Excuse me, can I sit here?" I opened my eyes and look up. Ugh! It was the same young guy I saw outside in line who tried to make eye contact. Young guys are so stupid though. If I didn't bother to acknowledge your eye contact, it means that I don't care to talk or sit next to you either. He continued to point to my things on the seat. I scanned the second level of the bus to see how many other seats were available, I counted five. Two that I knew for a fact didn't have any bags on them, unlike my seat.

"Sure," I say with absolutely no enthusiasm in my voice and an eye roll, he did not miss.

I knew how the rest of this bus ride would be the minute he sat down next to me, and I was deeply saddened.

Then I started to grow really angry too.

During my college years in Philadelphia, I came across the same situation every train ride home to Maryland. Random dudes who want to sit down next to you in a cart filled with open seats. Stare at you the whole time like they had no proper home training, make their presence known through loud and obnoxious behavior, and then harass you for your phone number.

This 'boo boo the fool' was the worst of them all though.

He had two duffle bags and bunch of frames that he put at the bottom of his feet. The coat he was wearing was large enough to hide a couple bombs, a large Mexican family, and me. But I was cool. I had a sharp metal nail filer and  a pair of tweezers in my pocketbook that could draw blood. Just in case, he wanted to kidnap me in that huge thing.

I felt like saying to him, "So, you want to sit next to me 'AND' invade my personal space with your mounds of shit? Oh. Now, I really can't stand you."

To top off invading my personal space, he smelled like fried rice and kept moving around in his seat. Just like a six year old. Then he started talking indirectly to me about what he needed to do when he got into New York, and I say 'indirectly' because he wasn't looking at me. Although it was clear that he wanted me to know all of his plans because of the level he raised his voice to, or maybe he's just one of  those (annoying) people that likes to hear themselves talk aloud.

I have no idea?

When he pulled out his iPod, shit didn't just hit the fan. It hit the moon!

He started off by rapping quietly. So, I turned my iPod on to block his non-rhyming ass out. Five minutes later, I noticed extremely cold air emerging from the hanging vent cover directly on me! After cursing myself for sitting in a seat with a hanging vent, I started to hear this guy over the music in my iPod. I turned it down for a moment and this fool was rapping some Juelz Santana song. AND, LOUD. When he realized that I was looking at him, he started moving his arms around like he was dancing! So, I say to him, "Can you be quiet, please? You're a little loud." Then he says, "Oh, I'm loud?! Sorry. This my joint! Juelz Santanaaaaa!"

"Uh, huh. Now, shut the fuck up! Please," is what I was thinking in my mind but never said.

He continued to rap louder than ever for about fifteen more minutes, while watching me text on my phone. Made a comment about my phone being orange...and that was it! There was just too much dialogue going on here. I asked him to please let me out of the seat. "Oh, you need to get up?"

I shook my head and thought, "Yes, Dum Dum! Why else would I be standing here asking you to move?" Of course, it took him four minutes too long to move himself, his ten pound coat, and his mounds of shit out of my pathway too.

I went to the first level of the bus, found a nice seat with no occupants, and thanked God for leaving me an open space on that bus before history repeated itself.

The moral of the story: Retta needs to stay off of Megabus and Amtrak. Period!