My My, Has Girl Scouts Changed!

My sister reported from her daughter's Girl Scouts meeting that they learned how to fight each other today.

Hmm!

Why didn't I get to learn how to fight during my Girl Scouts meetings as a child?

I could have avoided that ass whooping that Heather gave me in the sixth grade for saying that her mother is a baby machine with too many damn kids. Or the time I was punched in the stomach for slapping a random boy's fat belly in the park at nine years old. Man. I was so pathetic that day, my hurt tail had to run home and get my brother to beat his ass for me.

So unfair.

During my uber lame Girl Scout meetings we sat in a circle in the middle of the floor and stared at each other for an hour in a half until our scout leaders came up with a pre-school activity for us to do.

The most fun that me and my troop had in Girl Scouts was a sleepover in a cabin that turned into making one of the girls cry and go home because she was acting like a big baby. And you know what? We're lucky her ass went home quietly instead of turning into Carrie and unleashing the wraths of hell on our bad asses!

I mean, serious.

I don't even remember the point for attending Girl Scouts? Other than hanging out with friends and giving my mother the opportunity to run errands during my meetings. Yes, I had a few badges on my sash for Dasies, Brownies, and Girl Scouts...but none of us really 'earned' them whole heartedly. All you had to do is go to the store and buy them for $2, and then make your mother iron them on your sash.

I never had the opportunity to enjoy selling cookies either, like how I see Girl Scouts doing outside of grocery stores in the Fall. My mother and father took that assignment away from me, and practically created a lucrative business all on their own...out of selling 'my' cookies. The closest I got to a cookie box...was right before I inhaled those bad boys, specifically the Tagalongs and Samoas.

I sure did 'grow strong' during Girl Scouts! But it wasn't from taking a self-defense lesson during a meeting, that's for sure!

LOL!

[shaking head]