What Chilli Wants

I caught the third episode of What Chilli Wants on Vh1 the other day.

One word two syllables: QUOTA!

She has a lot of nerve coming at these guys she is dating, the way she does. The last episode she basically goes out on like four dates with two guys...then her matchmaker found photos of one of her two dates on a motorcycle with another girl..so she asks both if they are seeing anyone else.

[blank stare]

Do I sense a stalker?

I am interested in knowing how her matchmaker got a hold of pictures of her date on a motorcycle with this girl. He isn't exactly famous...so how did they get these photos? Her and her matchmaker knew their asses were crazy too, because they were trying to decide how to approach the topic of the photo with her date without seeming crazy.

Hmm. How bout you can't...so stop trying!

And who cares if she found pictures of him on a bike with some chick? It is not her man. Her partner. Or her husband! She isn't even in a committed relationship with the dude.

So, how does she have the nerve to ask that type of question? When she is on a reality show based upon going out on as many dates as possible with various men. They are aware she is dating other men too. So, why does she think it appropriate to ask them who they are dating?

She needs to mind her own!

I understand the idea of wanting to know that you are on the same page as the person you are dating. It makes sense. But you cross the line when expect your date not to do, what you are doing.

You cannot expect someone to be fully committed to you, when you have one foot in and one foot outside of the door.

It is unrealistic and selfish to ask that of anyone, especially at such an early stage in your relationship.

It made me feel so embarrassed watching her ask these men if they were seeing other women, while they stared at her squeamish and uncomfortable looking! Then she says, "it's okay if you are...I just want to know!"

Is she for real?

If you haven't  reached an intimate or serious stage in your relationship that's not the type of question, you should be asking that early in the game. However, if you believe you need to ask it for whatever reason...it probably isn't the type of person you should be dating in the first place. If you're that concerned about 'him' dating other people.

I have never asked any of my exes if they were dating anyone else in the early stages of our relationship, (1) because I was probably still dating others, (2) it wasn't serious enough to ask that question yet, or (3) they already informed me of their current dating status.

Now, of course it is important to find out things about your possible mate in the early stages of your relationship. Like if you are married. Were you married? Do you have children? What is it that you are looking for right now?

But asking them if they are dating anyone else at that moment is completely out of line!

Clearly, she is on a mission and does not want to waste her time.

We get it!

But she needs to calm that crazy down or she is going to scare these men away before she can get to know them.

I am going to go out on a whim here...and assume she is drilling them because she is afraid and wants to gain control of the situation by being 'in the know' of everything.

But it does not work that way!

At the end of the day when we date each other, we should remember that we cannot control what our date does, we cannot assume anything they do, we should not have any expectations, and we should never move too fast with them because it is just dating.

During the preview of her show Steve Harvey said curtly, "I know what's wrong with Chilli...what Chilli wants is too damn much!"

I could not agree with him anymore. I am ecstatic to see the episode with him in it.

I hope he talks some sense into her!