The Girl Code

My close friend in Texas suggested I write a post about this topic because of the on-going issues of friends dating friend's flames during their relationship or after it ends.

Are the stipulations of Girl Code changing? Or do some of us just not care about keeping true to this code anymore?

In Girl Code I thought it was a given that 1) you respect each other and other people's property (OPP), 2) you would refrain from flirting with your girl's man, 3) you would not speak about inappropriate things around or directly to him of a sexual nature, 4) you would not get intimate with your girl's man, 5) you would be honest with your girl about any shady activity suspected by her man, and 6) you gave your girl your honest opinion about her man upon her request.

My friend and I talked about a group of girls who were sleeping with their friend's men. Now. The phrase 'their' friend's men should be used loosely because they weren't exactly their men. They were men these ladies were intimate with and had serious feelings for at one point in time.

The lady who slept with her friend's flame said they were never that serious to begin with...he didn't even like her and it was whatever, because she didn't want to talk about it anymore. At that point my friend and I were not only quiet but giving each other the 'secret' side eye. Probably the main reason she wanted to avoid sharing information with us in the first place.

So.

We felt these men should be off limits to them. Period. Doesn't matter if your friend just likes the guy. If she claimed him, than he is all hers. No matter what the outcome of her and the guy. It should never turn into a Gladiator fight, because it's really that simple.

We also had another discussion about a friend of mine going out on a date with someone I use to date. At the time I didn't think much of it at all because I was currently in a relationship with someone else. But after talking it over with my friend more and more, I realized that it still didn't make it an okay thing to do. It was weird. Awkward to discuss and it bit sneaky. At the end of the day, I had to keep in mind that it wasn't over anyone I cared much for anyway.

What was the big deal about it then?

I guess the unspoken Girl Code was broken. The guy in the equation wasn't the point at all.

Which brings me to the next topic. Should Girl Code only be relevant to friends? Or should it be relevant to all women?

More questions!

When it it ever okay to sleep with someone else's man or husband? Or email photos of yourself to them...posing  on your bed or the beach? What about suggesting they spend the night at a hotel with you? Or asking them to leave the person they are with for you? And if you would never do these things to your friends, why is it still okay to others to break Girl Code with other women?

Where did the respect and decency we had for each other go? Right out the door with our morals and ethics? Maybe. And probably, because there was only room in our hearts for our own selfishness, jealousy, envy, and shady agendas.

Another point to ponder: we get so mad at men for sleeping and fooling around with women who do these sorts of things. But why? They aren't holier than thou! Or the type of men we should even be associating ourselves with anymore anyway.

I mean. If they are messing around on you with shady individuals, don't they deserve to be with someone of that nature? So. Why try to interject yourself between them and their partner-in-crime, like you're Captain-Save-a-Hoe? If they can't see that same tornado, you and I see approaching from 50 miles away. Chances are they are not suppose to see it! So walk away. Let them walk into it! There are plans for each of us that are bigger than you and I.

FACT!

As for the conniving women or men? You better believe these same folks will be just as shady behind your man or woman's back, as they were behind yours....so leave that mess in God's hands. You are not Robo Cop, Cat Woman, or Spider Man. Your job is not to make sure justice is served!

In my opinion? Girl Code should probably be a general Code of Respect for women and men. Since this is an issue encountered between men a lot more than women (because they don't give a damn and could care less about their boy's feelings.) This code should be thought of the same way, we think of the Ten Commandments. If we don't want anyone doing something wrong to us, then don't do it to them.