You're a Slut and Selfish Too!

"But but...why can't I talk about how cute my dress is all night? Or have meaningless sex while I look for a husband? This dress was expensive, you know!"

I discovered article # 632 on why us women aren't married today!

Being a slut and selfish are the main reasons we aren't married too.

Well.

Those are two of the reasons listed in the article Why You're Not Married.

I must say though!

I agree those are two of the main reasons many of us aren't married today.

If we can't even commit to getting to know one person, because another person caught our eye a split second later...how do we expect to settle down with anyone? When we're still searching for the BBD (Bigger Better Deal). Or what about if we're too busy between the sheets with Right Now Randy? How can one expect to meet....or have time to meet Here to Stay Stanley? Serious.

What the author said about a woman getting attached to man she is sleeping with is so true too! A man could act and look equivalent to a damn obnoxious hairy gorilla and a woman would still bond with him through sex...human nature. Women are infamous for dating 3s when they are 9s and 10s for that reason alone. Not that dating a 3 is such a bad idea these days. 3s usually have more potential and character than most 10s do anyway.

There were a few valid points in that article about being selfish too. We are so self absorbed that we obsess over ourselves...leaving little room for others. We do put our careers first...then look around in confusion, because we don't know why we're single or when our potential mates disappeared? We want others to revolve around us, instead of revolving around each other. We have a list of demands that we want our mates to meet, yet we are reluctant to give into their demands. We get so caught up in thinking about what our mates can do for us, we don't consider what we can even offer them...if we have anything to offer.

No one wants to have a one-sided conversation with a partner who talks about thyself all day long. Or listen to them complain about their issues all the time. Or talk about what they wore from head to toe in full detail. Or even worse, how awesome they looked wearing it.

This type of behavior isn't conducive to marriage. Or to even helping us make healthy connections with each other.

What I hate the most about this truthful article?

How it focuses in on women. When this should really be directed to both men and women. These are issues once again that we all encounter as single people. Of course....women think about getting married more than men.

But, please believe! 

There are men out there wondering why their asses are still single too. These are the same ones who blame being single on the crazy and deceitful women they encounter...or the right time never presenting itself....or their busy work schedules....with never a thought that the reason they are really single is because of them.

What we should take from this article? Taking a closer look in the mirror is a must, because our own behavior and actions could be the cause of many of our concerns....aside from being single or unmarried.

What is a SAHG?

SAHG stands for a stay-at-home-girlfriend, not to be confused with a stay-at-home-wife.

A blogger named Quiana Stokes wrote about the term in
How to Survive as a SAHG (stay-at-home-girlfriend)
on an entertainment website called Brokelyn.

Okay!

I hope you took a long moment to read her post in order to absorb all of that in!

After discovering this post on a friend's Facebook page, me and my huge opinionated mouth brought this topic up for discussion with friends at happy hour. It turned quickly into a huge shouting match between me, three gentlemen and a lady. If you can imagine...the gentlemen did not feel there was anything wrong with the things Quiana did for her boyfriend. The lady didn't think so either. Please note: as sweet as the lady I had this discussion with is...she is not the brightest bulb in the world. From previous stories she shared, it was clear....she is June Clever disguised as a doormat for the world's biggest asshole.

My opinion of the post?

If you can't tell already....I am not jumping up and down over her blog, like it's goody goody gum drops!

Sorry.

But there's something about the tone of her post that bothered me. Like she was glamorizing her lifestyle as a stay-at-home-girlfriend...or maybe, it's not even that? It could be her belief that if you follow all of her steps, you too, could keep your man during a recession in 2011....when the feel of her post felt more like the role of a woman in the 50s or 60s. If this post was titled What I Do So I Don't Feel Like a Complete Loser in My Boyfriend's Place All Day or even....How I Make My Man Feel Relevant and the Focal Point of My World. I would say cool. More power to you, Sister Girl!

But instead, she comes across like a damn 21st century Geisha....trying to sell a book of June Clever rules on how to entertain your man.

Now.

I will say there is nothing wrong with her cleaning up after him, or with the cooking everyday, or even wanting to look good for him. Every man and woman in a relationship should want to do these things for each other. But...and there is a 'but' to be considered here. At what point do we go too far to please each other? Like completely overboard?

In my opinion? When you spend a majority of your day planning how to make your partner's life easier....or every action made in your life is in order to please your partner instead of yourself? You are taking things way too far!

I won't even go there about her making it a necessity to have sex with her man every night (as long as there is no period). If she wants to play the role of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman that's her business! Not mine.

If you read the comments under the post, you will notice it struck a cord with many women.

Let's face it!

The last thing an independent or feminist woman wants to hear another woman discuss is how she can make her man's life easier. Do I think Quiana should have sat around her home all day like a bum? No. She absolutely should clean up and make herself useful around her home....especially if she is not working at all. My only concern is that she's doing these things for him, not for her....like she's driven by his existence instead of her own...and it appears that she is afraid of being dumped or replaced by someone else. 

Other things I question about her relationship with him? What role does he play in their relationship? We know he provides a roof over her head and food. Should this be his only role though? I think not. And what else does he do to be a supportive partner? Or make her feel better about being out of work? 

It makes me wonder. Because I heard a lot of how to make his life easier....sending out tons of resumes everyday....cooking and cleaning...and happy hour with her friends so she didn't lose her mind.

The real problem with this post? It was written by a woman who came up with a plan....one that sounded regressive and offensive to many women. The fact that she is clinging desperately to her man during a recession made it worse too. If this was written by a man? It would have been a liberating take on the Modern Man in America....tons of envious women would be leaving comments asking him, "Are there any others like you out here?" "You're exactly what I need in my life!" "Do you have any brothers or cousins?" "What a lucky woman!"

Double standards are a bitch.

Girl Scout Samoas Better Watch Out!

There's a new cookie on the block that just replaced the Samaos. Which happens to be the most popular Girl Scout cookie on the market today.

They are called Keebler Fudge Shoppe Coconut Dreams! They taste identical to the Girl Scout Cookie Samoas. So identical, they have the exact same nutrition facts on the back. Total Fat: 8 grams of fat per two cookies. So you know, they didn't skim on any of the good stuff put into the Samoas!

 

I bought a pack of them yesterday....because I am a concerned citizen of bootlegging and making sure they did not fail my favorite cookie in the world. And, now. I am happy to report that they did not fail  Samoas. They taste and look exactly the same, the only thing I noticed is that these cookies were slightly smaller than the size of the Samoas. But to be honest, it made me feel 100 times better about eating the damn things!

So.

This means that we no longer have to wait for Girl Scout cookie season to roll around to buy these delicious coconut cookies anymore. Or buy the Edy's Girl Scout Samoas Special Edition ice cream to get your cookie fix. And let me tell you something about eating that ice cream. It was just like digging for gold nuggets! I would literally dig through the entire bucket of ice cream searching for these tiny pieces of Samoas that were so small and pointless, I wanted to put them in a ziplock bag and feed them to small animals in the park.

So anyway.

You can now find them at your local grocery store for a mere $3.89, no more digging for gold.

I already inhaled half a bag in one sitting too.

So, be careful!

The Girl Code

My close friend in Texas suggested I write a post about this topic because of the on-going issues of friends dating friend's flames during their relationship or after it ends.

Are the stipulations of Girl Code changing? Or do some of us just not care about keeping true to this code anymore?

In Girl Code I thought it was a given that 1) you respect each other and other people's property (OPP), 2) you would refrain from flirting with your girl's man, 3) you would not speak about inappropriate things around or directly to him of a sexual nature, 4) you would not get intimate with your girl's man, 5) you would be honest with your girl about any shady activity suspected by her man, and 6) you gave your girl your honest opinion about her man upon her request.

My friend and I talked about a group of girls who were sleeping with their friend's men. Now. The phrase 'their' friend's men should be used loosely because they weren't exactly their men. They were men these ladies were intimate with and had serious feelings for at one point in time.

The lady who slept with her friend's flame said they were never that serious to begin with...he didn't even like her and it was whatever, because she didn't want to talk about it anymore. At that point my friend and I were not only quiet but giving each other the 'secret' side eye. Probably the main reason she wanted to avoid sharing information with us in the first place.

So.

We felt these men should be off limits to them. Period. Doesn't matter if your friend just likes the guy. If she claimed him, than he is all hers. No matter what the outcome of her and the guy. It should never turn into a Gladiator fight, because it's really that simple.

We also had another discussion about a friend of mine going out on a date with someone I use to date. At the time I didn't think much of it at all because I was currently in a relationship with someone else. But after talking it over with my friend more and more, I realized that it still didn't make it an okay thing to do. It was weird. Awkward to discuss and it bit sneaky. At the end of the day, I had to keep in mind that it wasn't over anyone I cared much for anyway.

What was the big deal about it then?

I guess the unspoken Girl Code was broken. The guy in the equation wasn't the point at all.

Which brings me to the next topic. Should Girl Code only be relevant to friends? Or should it be relevant to all women?

More questions!

When it it ever okay to sleep with someone else's man or husband? Or email photos of yourself to them...posing  on your bed or the beach? What about suggesting they spend the night at a hotel with you? Or asking them to leave the person they are with for you? And if you would never do these things to your friends, why is it still okay to others to break Girl Code with other women?

Where did the respect and decency we had for each other go? Right out the door with our morals and ethics? Maybe. And probably, because there was only room in our hearts for our own selfishness, jealousy, envy, and shady agendas.

Another point to ponder: we get so mad at men for sleeping and fooling around with women who do these sorts of things. But why? They aren't holier than thou! Or the type of men we should even be associating ourselves with anymore anyway.

I mean. If they are messing around on you with shady individuals, don't they deserve to be with someone of that nature? So. Why try to interject yourself between them and their partner-in-crime, like you're Captain-Save-a-Hoe? If they can't see that same tornado, you and I see approaching from 50 miles away. Chances are they are not suppose to see it! So walk away. Let them walk into it! There are plans for each of us that are bigger than you and I.

FACT!

As for the conniving women or men? You better believe these same folks will be just as shady behind your man or woman's back, as they were behind yours....so leave that mess in God's hands. You are not Robo Cop, Cat Woman, or Spider Man. Your job is not to make sure justice is served!

In my opinion? Girl Code should probably be a general Code of Respect for women and men. Since this is an issue encountered between men a lot more than women (because they don't give a damn and could care less about their boy's feelings.) This code should be thought of the same way, we think of the Ten Commandments. If we don't want anyone doing something wrong to us, then don't do it to them.

A Quote Worth Hollering: 2nd Edition, Vol. 4

"FAIL. India Arie really sang, 'sometimes I shave my legs, sometimes I don't.' Gunshot! How you gonna uplift women to the 'put it in your mouth' beat? Have a seat m'aam. And while you're sitting, shave them damn legs!"

Legionellosis in The Playboy Mansion

The Playboy Mansion has always been one of my desired locations to visit. Just for the fun!

Now?

Not so sure.

My parents dropped me and my siblings off at my grandmother's house one summer to visit The Playboy Mansion. My father boasted often over the 'creative' photos he took of my mother with various playboy bunnies....as well as some random ass shots of women with fuzzy bunny tails on their bottoms. His fascination with taking pictures of womens' asses was about as bizarre as my high school friend's father who collected a bathroom full of ceramic breasts in the form of mugs, plates, and plastic figurines.

When me and my high school friend got snappy with each other, she would say to me, "Well, at least my dad doesn't take ass shots of women at the beach and pool." My reaction to this was, "Yeah, well at least mine doesn't like to stare at boobies when he goes to the bathroom. What do you think your dad's doing in there for so long?" Only high school kids can say things of this nature, only to shrug them off minutes later and go sledding.

Viewing their pictures was like looking into something fun and wild going on in the 80s. They were young and in love having a blast, despite having three young children at home. They make me desperately want to go there and be a part of the fun too!

I have to find some of their pictures and post them up. I mean. Looking at photos and imagining the kinky shit my parents did is exactly what I need in my bland life.

I may be bland forever now too, because making a trip there doesn't sound like such a good idea to me anymore.

Over 80 people came down with Legionnaire's disease (which makes me think it's related Paris Hilton because she is an heiress) after attending an after party at Hugh Hefner's Playboy mansion. There are claims that the disease was omitted from a fog machine because the disease lives in warm water and the people at the party were breathing this fog into their lungs all evening.


According to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Legionnaires' disease is caused by a bacteria called Legionellosis. It's a form of pneumonia that causes a high fever, chills, and a cough.

When 80 of the unluckiest people left this party, they all experienced fevers and problems breathing. But Playboy's mouthpiece is denying that the fog machine was the cause,  because others were in the fog and did not get sick from it.

Um.

So what?

Just because everyone who attended the party didn't start gasping for air and swine flu'ing it up in their beds does not mean this fog machine is not a possibility. Our immunity to viruses can vary. I don't see how anyone can conclude an investigation in one go either.

Not buying it.

Sounds like Playboy is trying to cover their asses because they smell 80...possibly more than 80 lawsuits flying fast their way.

And if it wasn't the fog machine spreading Legionnaire, it was probably the food or drinks served that evening. I do believe that it is worse, no? So. Why not be quiet and wait for the investigation to be completed thoroughly?

I would think that if anyone would catch a virus there, they would really be catching it from taking a dip in that heated indoor cave. Can you imagine the bacteria reproduced inside of that grotto? I would not be surprised if new strains of STDs were created in that thing.

Either way, people will think about the time The Playboy Mansion broke out in that nasty disease...and think twice about eating the food....if they don't refuse to go there in fear of catching a disease, not related to sexual relations.

Just saying.

*update: the viral infection is now being called Pontiac Fever and 170 people are said to be affected with it.

Bleeding Nipples?

A former classmate of mine from middle school just posted up a picture of himself at the gym with his nipples bleeding through his shirt on Facebook.

[I do know posting this is wrong, but wow...just wow!]

I mean, seriously.

What the hell is going on here?

Looking at his picture makes my nipples tingle and sting!

Our nipples have to be one of the most sensitive parts of our bodies! I mean. Can you imagine?

Apparently, when you run longer than 45 minutes. It can cause chaffing of your nipples which leads to bleeding.

OUCH!!!

I am sorry. But I have definitely gone running for over an hour on more than one occassion, and not once did my Itty Bitties start to sting, chaff, or bleed.

They may have felt sore but that's about it.

Just saying!

Shit looks painful.

And it makes me wonder. What type of shirts are these folks with bleeding nipples wearing? How do they run too? Gallop. Run on paths like a mad gorilla? What type of boobage and nipple situation do they have too? Do they not moisturize their nips with Jergens like the rest of their body? And if you know your nips have the habit of chaffing and flaking why not lube those bad boys up?

Man! I learn something new every day.