Draya Michele

My blog receives on average 18 hits a day on who is possibly the most hated Basketball Wives Reality Star!

Most of the hits were from people who wanted basic information on her. While other were inquiring about who is the father of her child, her arrest, and her modeling photos.

Kind of crazy.

It's a large amount of inquiries for a person who virtually appeared on the scene a few months ago.

I think the fascination over the stripper turned reality star has everything to do with her being cast in Basketball Wives LA and being charged with a child neglect case.

Here's the thing though.

Whether you like her or not.

She is getting more press than the other Basketball Wives LA. It's like the more hated she becomes on the show, the more popular her name is on the Web.

Word on the Web is that her child's father is a drug dealer and/or is locked up in prison. Her mother helped raise her son. She was a stripper at a club in Philadelphia too.

So, she hasn't exactly been living the life of a 'Huxtable Kid' from The Cosby Show.

Not sure how she is handling all the shade being thrown at her, but I imagine it can't be easy.

Now.

I am not saying that she didn't deserve the ridicule she received for neglecting her son. Because any mother who neglects their child deserves it.

Period.

But what I am saying?

At the end of the day, she is still a human being who makes mistakes. Just like everyone else.

She just made a really bad one.

Not to mention, being linked to the likes of Chris Brown who beat up Rihanna did not help her situation.

I've been watching Basketball Wives LA religiously and there were two specific episodes that struck a cord for me.

In one episode, one of the Basketball 'Ex-Fiances' meets with Draya to reveal that she knows about her child neglect case. Then Draya basically denied the allegations of her son being taken away from her.

Now.

There's a gray area here. Because I do not believe she denied being arrested for the charges. She only denied her son being taken away from her - meaning her son was back in her physical custody.

But who knows what was really said before editing on the show?

It appeared as though the Basketball Ex-Fiance believed what Draya told her though. Which is that the arrest allegations were not true. The report made about her arrest was a lie. They were trying to paint a bad picture of her because of her connection to Chris Brown...yada yada.

But nothing from the report was a lie.

She was arrested and her son was removed from her custody temporarily.

In another episode, the women were at what appeared to be a therapy session called a Passion Party, and each one of them had to pick a word to describe each other.

And well, one of the Basketball Wives (who has a laundry list of issues over her ex-fiance) used the word "worthless" to describe Draya.

I was shocked when I heard that word. Then the camera focused in on the look on Draya's face.

Sista Girl put on a good front! But I don't care what anyone says, her feelings had to be hurt.

The look on her face said it all.

I thought it was heartless. Ugly. Uncalled for. Nasty. Hurtful. Just completely out of line to say that!

I don't believe anyone has the right to tell another human being they are worthless.

It's one thing to call someone out their name. Tell someone they are 'acting' a way.

But to tell someone they are less than their worth? Is wrong on so many different levels!

I made quite a few comments about her child neglect case, like I am sure many people did as well.

But at no point, should any of us being judging her worth!

No. She hasn't been well suited to have a baby, just like many other women who have no business birthing children.

And, no. She probably shouldn't have custody of her son either.

But she does have custody of him, and she obviously isn't the best mother. But she is still his mother at the end of the day. She's young. Troubled. Flawed even.

But worthless?

Um, no.

That's taking it too far.

Even the most hated woman in the country, Casey Anthony, isn't worthless.

She's just one terrible individual who will pay for actions for the rest of her life. So. Everyone should leave that one alone too.

My personal take on Draya?

She's ghetto. Arrogant. Extremely guarded. Not a bad person. Puts up a good front like she doesn't care what anyone says. Appears intimidated. Seems to have a few groupie tendencies, but not a lot. Doesn't appear as thirsty for the lime light as I originally thought. Acts a lot younger than 25 too. But then again, maybe I am just old? Hmm. Because I really don't remember how you act at 25 anymore.

But regardless of what any of us think, she has become quite the household name.

And, well.

We all know how scandals and reality shows worked out for Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian.

Just saying.

Type A's

Are killing me.

Scaring me.

Stressing me out.

Type A's is an abbreviation for the people I am referring to; men with Type A personalities. To learn more about their characteristics read this.

I don't know what it is about me and Type A's but I cannot get away from them.

I actually told the one I befriended this summer that too. He laughed and said, "Oh, you mean guys like me?" I shook my head, "Yes," with a visible side eye.

I still can't figure out why he thinks this shit is so funny? Because it's not. Mingling with one is a big mistake waiting to happen for a laid back individual like myself.

But anyway.

I made it clear to him and everyone else that I am not interested in dating because I'm leaving for Korea.

*Now even though it's important to be honest. Don't do what I did. Keep this sort of information to yourself. Men will pursue you more in hopes of a possible fling because you are unavailable.

My line about leaving for Korea though, is only partially true. There is another reason for my lack of interest, and it happens to be that I am in fact in l-o-v-e with this man.

I won't go there today though, or possibly ever.

What I will go there about?

How I say that I am not interested, but then you are planning dates. And, on top of planning dates, giving me deadlines. Talking about, "6 pm, let me know."

Wait, huh?

Let you know what by 6 pm?

I didn't realize we planned anything!

All I said is I MIGHT be in DC on Thursday or Friday dealing with the Korean Embassy, but I was not sure. Then he responds with, "Great! We'll go to dinner and a movie. 6 pm, let me know."

When he wrote that, I felt this overwhelming feeling of being stressed out. Then I got really pissed off that I felt that way!

I did not sign up for any of this!

A dinner and a movie sounds a lot like a date to me too. I am so confused!

But you see! This is how Type A's get you. You think you're having a normal 'friend' conversation about possibly hanging out with your 'new' friend. Then all of a sudden you're planning dinner dates.  And movie dates. And jogging dates. And let's just hang at my place on Friday dates!

I cannot deal.

I am leaving the country and I am freaking the hell out!

Plus, I'm too nice and I can't hurt nice guys' feelings. I can only do it to Assholes, because I could care less about their shitty feelings. They could eat a bowl of dicks and choke on it for all I care.

But I won't ever be mean to nice guys, like him.

Never.

If you act mean to a nice guy? You're an evil bitch. Because we all know, it doesn't take much for them to become jaded and hate us. Then you are responsible for turning them into an asshole. An asshole they'll most likely be for the rest of their life. The same asshole we all like to complain about on a daily basis too.

And, well.

I won't be held responsible for any of that!

Matter of fact, if I weren't leaving the country or in love with another guy?

I would probably date him against my better judgement, and be quite happy with my decision too. I know how to deal with someone with anal retentive tendencies, a ridiculous schedule, control issues, and a cute little Capitol Hill job.

He's like the next Barack Obama for Christ's sake!

But I am a mess right now.

I just want to hide. Finish packing up all my shit in boxes. Drink the nasty dry wine in my refrigerator and watch TV later on. None of this should be that serious in life. But like my girlfriend said earlier today, "You're a nice bitch."

Hmm.

*tip toes into hiding.

Male Strippers Are Hookers

This is no exaggeration and it scares me.

Doesn't this picture say it all?

His name is Forbidden and my name is No Thank You! Funny how both of our names have three syllables, right?

If you were wondering why I am writing about strippers, it's not because I came from a strip club or even dated one.

It's because I found $25 in singles in my shirt pocket, while packing boxes earlier. And although finding this money made me happy, I cringed at the fact that it was stripper tip money aka male prostitution whore money.

My high school friend (also known as a big goofy pretend pimp-on-the-weekend) handed it me to throw at male strippers at a private party. A party, might I add, that I have been trying to erase from my memory for over a year.  Not working. Well, anyway! So I took the $25 in singles and told him, "Hell, no! I'm hungry. I'll be using this money later," stuffed it in my shirt pocket, crossed my arms, and gave him my 'bitch, please' look. He wasn't too happy about it, but he got over it. Then handed more money out to other women to throw to the strippers male hookers.

So, this post was basically a reaction to finding hooker money in my shirt pocket, combined with picture texts received from a male stripper prostitute a couple weeks ago.

Before I continue with this story. I ask that you do not hold any of this against me. I met him at this private stripper sex party. A party by the way, he wasn't stripping at. Or at least I thought so?

But whatever.

I cant be held responsible for remembering stuff that I try to erase from my memory!

All I know is the male stripper sent me pictures of him and his stripper friends in compromising positions. One had a thing on his penis. The other didn't have anything on it at all. Matter of fact, a woman was touching it. The others were just scary.

I don't even want to talk about the scary ones.

*Just think low budget films

My final conclusion: male strippers are definitely hookers, only worse. Because let's face the facts here.

There is nothing wrong with a stripper, unless you are a male stripper. They're like a completely different animal out here in the wild. They lack tact that even the most devious female stripper possesses. So, we have to take a step down and evaluate the next female kind they are equivalent to: female hooker. But even women hookers have standards, that male strippers simply do not.

A female hooker will make you pay cash to sleep with her.

A male stripper will have sex with you in exchange for Polly-O String Cheese and an Push-Up Pop, because they stay hungry for snacks and sex.

Begging a male stripper for sex is like, begging a cashier to PLEASE keep the change made from your one hundred dollar bill.

It's super easy to do.

A male stripper at a private party will show you his penis. Emulate sexual acts on top of you. Put his face in your private part. Swing his thing at you. And basically do any other inappropriate thing you can imagine a stripper crossing the line doing to a victim.

I say victim because that's what you are upon being attacked by their oily satanic bodies.

So.

Stay away from a male stripper with chains wrapped around his body.

Stay away from a male stripper who is dresses as a Pharaoh.

Stay away from a male stripper with chaps on.

Stay away from a stripper who pussy pops.

Stay away from male stripper who looks like a skinny woman too, he could be transitioning.

Just stay away!!!

These men have sex with anyone at private parties. Go down on random women. Pretend not to be strippers and obtain your contact information **cough. Do all types of nasty sexual acts that would require a Doctor to check for STDs in less common areas like toes and ears for infection

Just keeping it real. 100 all day, Baby!

I got the 4-1-1, Hon.

So much 4-1-1. I know enough to stay away from them. They ain't picking me up. Dry humping me. Gyrating on me. Luring me in. Not kissing me anywhere on my body.

Don't care if it's an elbow.

It's not happening!

I learned my lesson after being around them. That is all I have to say. Carry along now!

Troy Davis Isn't the Only One

In light of the execution of Troy Davis, more sad execution stories keep emerging in the news.

The story I learned today is about George Junius Stinney Jr. in the picture below.

He was born in 1929 and executed in a South Carolina prison during 1944 at fourteen years old six months and five days.

Can you imagine for a second?

He could have been my baby. Your baby. A friend's baby. Any person's baby that was executed for a crime he did not commit.

Jeffrey Collins of the Bluffton Post reported, "Stinney was accused of killing two white girls 11 year old Betty June Binnicker and 8 year old Mary Emma Thames by beating them with a railroad spike then dragging their bodies to a ditch near Acolu, about five miles from Manning in central South Carolina. The girls were found a day after they disappeared following a massive manhunt. Stinney was arrested a few hours later, white men in suits taking him away. Because of the risk of a lynching, Stinney was kept at a jail 50 miles away in Columbia. His father, who had helped look for the girls, was fired immediately and ordered to leave his home and the sawmill where he worked. His family was told to leave town prior to the trial to avoid further retribution. An atmosphere of lynch mob hysteria hung over the courthouse. Without family visits, the 14 year old had to endure the trial and death alone."

At fourteen years old he was escorted to the electric chair by guards with a bible in his hand. He was so small, only 5' 1" and 95 pounds that the electric chair straps didn’t fit his body. The electrode was too big for his legs as well.

Witnesses recap the story of his execution, describing an adult size death mask covering his face. When the switch was pulled, the mask fell from his face. Revealing tears that streamed from his eyes during his death. 

*Hearing this part of the story made me cry. 

He is said to be the youngest person executed in the United States in the past century. However, it is possible that his death was the only one recorded in the books.

These stories eat me up inside!

Why would a 14 year old black boy kill 2 little white girls in South Carolina during the 1940s? And how could a boy who only weighs 95 pounds drag both of their bodies five miles away from the murder scene? 

Unbelievable. 

Let me tell you what I learned from my grandmother who was born in Birmingham, Alabama in 1934. As a child she watched so many black adults and children in her town get lynched. Every black child in her town was afraid to be near a white person. They lived in fear of a white person spitting on them, yelling derogatory terms at them, and being accused of doing something they did not do. My grandmother and other black people in her town saw it happen so many times. 

They believed white people were devils in Birmingham. And in her case? Imagining what she saw white people do to other black people in town, I honestly cannot blame her. 

Anyone who can kill black boys without mercy. Rape little black girls and throw them away like garbage. Beat a man to death, urinate on him, and then hang him by a tree, and all because of the color of their skin.

Must be the devil in disguise.

With that said, can you really believe a 14 year old black boy in South Carolina would murder two white girls?

Of, course not.

Love, Cortnie Clutches

In celebration of DC Fashion Week, I attended a fashion show yesterday at a place called Dirty Bar with a group of friends. Then ran into an old friend of mine! Looking chic classic and edgy in a white blazer and peach colored lipstick toting one of her own creations, a Love, Cortnie clutch.

Funny thing about this post.

I told her, like I was so damn sure about myself, that I wrote a blog about her clutches the other day....remembering seconds later that I hadn't completed and published it.

I had two drinks without eating much that day, I was trippin'!

But the fact that I started writing about her clutches a few days ago, and then saw her out last night. Is very funny! Because I haven't seen her in over a year.

So.

I felt like that was a sign for me to get back on here, and finish this post.

All of the Love, Cortnie clutches have a earthy, but chic look to them. I think the texture of each makes them truly unique too. The measurements are 11 x 9 inches.

So there's plenty of room in these babies! She makes each of them by hand, so the pattern may vary a bit on another clutch.

My favorites clutches are the tan/white, abstract shapes with red/gray/black, and the zebra print!

Seeing my friend with the leopard print one makes me want that one too. It looks really good with white and red.

I'll be ordering a few when Mama has money.

You can order any of her clutches online for $45 at Etsy. You can also check out her fashion blog Stylelusts and like her on Facebook.

Go the Fuck to Sleep

Parents, are you searching for a book to help you cope with putting the Tater Tots to sleep every night? Look no further! Go the Fuck to Sleep is here to save the day.

 

How does an author come up with the idea to create such a book? 

For Adam Mansbach, it started with failed efforts to get his 2 year old daughter Vivienne to fall asleep; paired with a sarcastic status message on Facebook that read, "Look out for my forthcoming children's book, 'Go the Fuck to Sleep.'" 

Due to the overwhelming responses to his status, he began a collection of verses written in PDF form that were bootlegged and emailed to booksellers. 

Who said bootlegging wasn't beneficial?

In a strange turn of events, his thirty-two page book illustrated by his friend was actually published by a small Brooklyn publishing house. Reached number one on Amazon's bestseller list beating out Tina Fey and Steven Tyler's memoirs. All occurring before it's publication date and hitting the shelf.

A small excerpt from the book reads:

"The cats nestle close to their kittens now.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You’re cozy and warm in your bed, my dear
Please go the fuck to sleep."

Too funny!!!

Something even more wild about this book? 

Samuel L. Jackson narrates the audio version of it! 

Isn't that something? 

On the audio version his voice is said to reflect 'a range of emotions and inflections' covering his cool man swag seen in his movies.

Of, course there are Christian groups out there flipping their shit over it. Encouraging booksellers not to sell the book and what not. Which is hilarious because if it wasn't created in the form of a childrens book with illustrations. The whole thing wouldn't be such a big deal. It's not like this going to be placed in the children section of a bookstore either. 

Booksellers know better.

Guess there was always be that small group of haters looking for an opportunity to flex their muscles and exercise their vocals though.

You can purchase Go the Fuck to Sleep for $8.97 on Amazon.

As you can see from the pictures below, these Amazon customers are on Quota for having their Tater Tots pose with their book.

I swear, Boy!

Haha! These folks must be trying to win Worst Parent of the Year awards! But who am I to judge? I'd probably pose my Tater Tot up against that book too. Smh!

Gold Name Plate Necklaces

One of my loyal readers and favorite people inspired me to write this post :) She told me that my B-Boy Sneakers post inspired her to search for a name plate necklace and one of those cute little boombox necklaces.

After she mentioned it I thought to myself, "Oh, yaahhh! Forgot about how cute those name plate necklaces are!"
 
Then I began my new mission on finding the cutest and cheapest nameplates and boombox pieces online.

My Hip Hop Bling offers the boombox pendant for only $20. Many other similar websites offer them too for as little as $8.

Supermarket offers another version of the boombox pendant in real gold for $57. This one is my favorite!

The Ron Dotson boombox necklace made in peweter with silver plating can be purchased here for $290.

For those interested more in the nameplates. On Soul Jewelry's website they offer diamond name plate necklaces for the uber affordable price of $600. Ha!

They also customize regular gold name plates and ones with hearts and stars as well for $140.

 JC Penny will customize one for you too for $170. This could be a good option for those who would rather buy inside a store than online.

If you would rather go for a cheaper nameplate. One that is sterling silver with a 14 karat gold overlay or just sterling silver. You can buy one from Limoges Jewelry for $40.

If you don't want to order online and you want something more affordable. Zales offers a sterling silver with 14 karat gold overlay name plate for $68.

 

If you are looking for a nameplate more unique. You can purchase a Korean one written in Hangul from a store on Etsy for $31. It is of course 14 karat gold overlay or silver, but still cute nonetheless.

You can also order a Arabic nameplate like the one Kanye has around his neck for $170 here.

I remember wanting a nameplate necklace so bad in high school for birthdays and Christmas, but never got one. Partly, because no one in family ever knew where to buy an authentic looking one. Which I completely understood. Plus,  I wasn't interested in one of the cheesy wiry name necklaces sold at the jewelry kiosks in the mall.

Then Freshmen year of college one of my Arabic friends from Oman gave me a gold nameplate with my name in Arabic for Christmas. One of the best gifts ever too!

My girlfriend has me wanting one of the old school ones now!

 I hope these websites were helpful!

If you would rather not buy it, forward this post to someone who will get it for you! Heh heh.

Do You Know Your Nude Beach Etiquette?

Before I begin this post, if you are wondering how or why people get into hitting up nude beaches?

Not really sure.

I started going because my mother would sun bathe on them often....dating back to my childhood.

Only recently though, did I feel comfortable enough in my own skin to go completely nude.

And.

Let me tell you!

There is something extremely liberating about sun bathing on a nude beach. To best describe the feeling, it's like being repressed by shackles and whips like Kunte Kinte and then being set free to run a muck on the beach.  

Literally.

I know it sounds extreme, but it's true.

I encourage everyone to go to a nude beach at least one time in your life. Whether alone or with someone....on a crowded beach or a secluded one. Just try it and see how you feel.

Now.

If you decide to go, there are certain rules to follow that are considered proper etiquette on nude beaches.

Rule #1 - You cannot gawk at other people on the beach.

It's a beach, not Luke's Peep Show.

This means all the time too. Not when you think, they're not looking. Because chances are...they're on the look out for creepy people staring at them.

Story: every time my girlfriend and I got up from our beach towels to get into the water....the creepiest old guy would prop himself up on his towel and watch us walk to the ocean. Then we were back on our towels, he would lie back down again. Can we say creepy? Yes! Don't do it.

*The minute one gets up from their towel is considered fair game to stare......if you're creepy. 

Rule #2 - Do not take pictures on a nude beach. Even if the pictures are focused only on you and your friends. This is considered a big no no. There are too many shady individuals who like to snap pictures and videos of nude people bathing. Then sell them on the Web.

*Something to keep in mind: Beachgoers can't tell if your lens are directed at them or not. So, just keep your camera in your bag. Then you can avoid being attacked by people like my mother who will approach you and cuss you out for snapping pictures with them in the backdrop.

Rule #3 - Do not walk over to people laying on their towels to start conversations. Or follow them to the ocean to have a conversation either. Unless they smile and wave at you to approach them. I have yet to see anyone be that friendly on a nude beach.

Story: once I stood in ice cold ocean water for about 20 minutes trying to wait for an old white man to walk back to his spot on the beach. I wanted to come out of the water without being greeted by him at the shore...it was uncomfortable and irritating. Making small talk the minute, I emerged from the water was aggressive and weird. So give people space on the beach.


*If you wouldn't talk to them with their clothes on, don't talk to them with their clothes off.

Rule #4 - Do not practice yoga, karate, or any other acrobatic activity on a nude beach. It is rude to  flash your vajayjay when you're doing the Downward Dog in the sand. Not to mention that it's gross. You are being a show off. Your poses are not only distracting, but they're blocking our sun and view of the ocean water too.

Another thing, stop smoking so much damn weed. Lay your ass down on that towel and go to sleep!

*The beach is suppose to be a relaxing time.

Rule #5 - Do not have sex or fondle your significant other on a  nude beach. Nobody wants to see all that! Get a room. If we want to watch porno we can order it on Pay-Per-View. On the beach we just want to enjoy the sun and eliminate tan lines. Not listen to your moaning or see any groping.

Rule # 6 - Do not bring your pubescent children to the nude beach with you. We would rather not watch your 11 year old son walk by us with an erect penis....smiling.

Thanks to you.

Your son has probably graduated from an innocent boy to a sex addict or predator because of his day perusing the nude beach.

*It's not an appropriate place for young children. Keep them at home.

Rule # 7 - Be proud of your body. When you start to feel self-conscious about your stomach or stretch marks...like most women do.  Remember that the old people on the beach have way more flaws than you, and are still proud of their bodies...and the fact that they are breathing and alive.

Rule # 8 - Be friendly and respectful by following these rules and etiquette.

B-Boy Sneakers

A couple years ago, my girlfriend lived in Harlem next to a sneaker store to the right of her apartment building. I passed it so many times on my way inside her place. I suggested to her that we go inside one day and buy a pair of B-Boy sneaks.

She agreed since we considered ourselves pretty cool and fly, but somehow we never got around to doing it.

Recently, I took an interest in B-Boy sneaks again.

Specifically, the high tops. I started off window shopping...then tried on a couple pairs of Nike Dunk High sand Nike Dunk High Skinnys with mid shin length spandex and another time with skinny jeans. I liked them with both styles that I had on.

After browsing a couple of sneaker stores for the right pair of Nike Dunk Highs, I decided to search for a more individualized pair to suit my personal style online.

Then found the perfect pair:

They are the perfect amount of girly for me. The suede makes them more feminine. Plus, I love the color gray because it's neutral and clean. I like that the multi-colored print isn't overbearing too and the tan sole gives them a unique touch. This sneaker purchase is now my fourth. Sigh. But I figured that I would need plenty of comfy walking shoes to explore Seoul.

Now that it's cold outside, or so my body thinks so.

I decided to pull them out of the box and wear them. I probably should have gotten a darker colored pair since it's almost Fall. But I still like them. And I can always find a pair more suited for Winter later anyway.

Here are some other really cool styles:









I almost bought these polk-a-dot ones above with the pink, black, and yellow laces...but decided not to since my niece would probably wear these.

*deep sigh

You can purchase any of these Nike Dunk High styles from www.niketopshoes.com.

If you haven't heard much of Nike Dunk Highs before this post. You should know that they were originally worn by men who played basketball. And now, everyone wears them. Kids, teenagers, and women. They're pretty much ingrained within Hip Hop and skateboarding culture. They are considered a lifestyle sneaker or street shoe.

Anyone who likes a funky sneaker should own a pair!

I am 30 years old and my B-Boy sneaks make me feel like a little big cool kid.

Ha!

What is an Oreo?

Oreo - noun. - 1. a derogatory term used against African Americans in general. 2.  a black person who is believed to possess white traits. 3. a black person described to be white on the inside and black on the outside. 4. a derogatory term used against someone who is half white and half black. 4. characteristics of a black person raised in a predominantly white environment. 5. describes a black person known for partaking in Uncle Tom activities. 6. a black person who dismisses their African American heritage in favor of Westernized ideas.

The Urban Dictionary views an Oreo in their first term as a black person who dresses like a White person. Listens to White music. Talks like a White person. Or dates a White person.

In my opinion?

This definition is completely outdated. Maybe, at one point in time. It was okay to say these things because everyone did dress one way or another. Or listened to only a few genres of music: Alternative, Rap, R&B, and Country.

But nowadays? Things have changed.

There is no such thing as talking White. Because there is no White language, there is only proper English. We all saw how quickly Ebonics was shut the shit down. Thank goodness for that!

There is no such thing as dressing White either. Fashion is Art. It doesn't belong to any one ethnic group. It belongs to each individual who expresses themselves through a fashion risk or statement. But, yes! There are styles that are considered Hip Hop inspired or Preppy....but that's based upon culture not necessarily a specific ethnic group anymore because everyone dibbles and dabbles in it.

Dating people of other races does not disqualify you from being Black anymore either. Like how it did at one point in the early 90s. And mainly, because there's so much interracial dating going on between other races. Now everyone realizes that dating someone outside of your race does not change who you are as a person. The only people this affects are the ones who have a problem with whom you date.

Urban Dictionary needs to modify their definition and get it together!

Look at the sentence they used to describe an Oreo:

"Damn Marcus, have you seen Deon lately? The brother is a total Oreo, he's all drivin' a BMW with his white biatch. The brotha forgot where he came from!"

I mean, huh?

Was that suppose to be spoken by a black person?

Because it sounds like a white person 'trying too hard' wrote it. I know White people who are 'up to par' on their slang who would laugh at this. Nobody says 'biatch' anymore either, for starters. Which is another indication this web page is completely outdated.

With that said.

Are there Black people or Oreos out here that want to be white? Absolutely! But we shouldn't base their desire to be white upon their taste of music or clothes. It should be based upon their mentality or view towards themselves and other Black people. If they criticize our skin color, texture of hair, or features. Express aloud that other races are smarter and better looking. Or they look down at poor black people. And vote Republican. Not only should these Oreos be dunked and drowned in a glass of milk, but they should probably be placed in a never ending "Embrace Your Race an Love Yourself 101" class.

I don't know anything worse than being ashamed of who you are and where you came from.

The Oreo Experience

I came across this young black lady's You Tube clips describing her experiences as an Oreo. An Oreo cookie that is!

*I will school those unaware of what an Oreo means in my next post. It is subjective.

I don't know much about her, like how old she is or what state and town she hails from with these beliefs of hers. But what I did learn? She does not date black men. She doesn't know how to be sassy. She is as cute as a button. She is funny as hell! And so funny that you forgive her for being ignorant about how she really feels.

If you go to You Tube you can view a collection of her clips. I fell out laughing after watching these four clips:

Now.

Quite a few black people are not fans of her clips. They find her to be racist, arrogant, confused, and uppity to say the least.

I, on the other hand, grew up around black people like her in Connecticut. So there was no strong reaction of distaste over her clips. Matter of fact, they did not phase me at all....once you encounter one, you encounter them all.

Maybe, black people like her should bother me a bit.

But why? Or anyone else for that matter. Because she gives us a bad name? She is hurting us? Not in the least bit. How she feels does not affect you or me directly. She is entitled to her crazy off the wall opinions and statements. Whether joking around or not!

Black people who seriously have her attitude are products of their environment. They cannot change how they feel because it is inherent. I believe it has something to do with a deep rooted issue, they have with being black.

I was called an Oreo when I was a young girl and I thought it was hurtful and mean. To tell me that I am less black than what I am and how I feel is just wrong! Especially in a predominantly white neighborhood in Connecticut. It was like survival of the fittest there! Every black kid trying to prove they were blacker than the next. It still exists today too.

I think it's so stupid.

We are all black regardless of our skin color or daily habits. Not to mention that the world, will always perceive us as being black. So, to what degree you are labeled black is irrelevant in the bigger scheme of things.

But I must say.

To see someone make light of being called an Oreo is refreshing. Even if it does appear as though she is over-glamorizing the word Oreo with the whole Barbie doll persona and what not.

The one thing I have an issue with in the black community: the desire to stay as light and white as possible. I guess Oreos have a problem with this.

But to me? It's a form of self hate. Avoiding the sun so your skin doesn't get dark.

One of the most beautiful thing about Black people is the fact that our skin color comes in a variety of beautiful shades. Shades that look ten times more magnificent when darkened even more. So, I cannot wrap my brain around this idea of avoiding the sun in fear of my skin complexion changing.

It's just crazy.

I feel bad for anyone who never enjoys the sun either, because they're lurking in the shade like they're on punishment or something. They have no idea, the amount of Vitamin D and fun in the sun they are missing!

But in all honestly? I don't see the problem with her not dating black men.

If nobody makes a big deal about the Black man who only dates Latino women. Or the White guy who only dates Asian women. Why is it such a big deal that she doesn't date black men? Everyone has there reasons for dating certain people. Now, as long as they aren't talking bad about other races. There shouldn't be a problem.

It sounds more like a personal preference, if you ask me. She is goober. She acknowledged this and mentioned hanging out at Medieval Times....and there not being any black men there. And well...isn't that sort of true? What grown black man do you know hangs out at Medieval Times on the weekend?

*crickets

I am sure there are a couple of them. Lurking around in their weird medieval costumes...giggling in their dorky glasses...and eating popcorn like the goobers that they are! But would you honestly date one of them? Shit. For me, it's a hell no! *And I have dated square black men before too. But there's no point in faking the funk about it. Some black men who hang out with mostly white people are cornballs...goobers and a combination of both to the one hundredth degree.

Period.

End of subject.

So, there you go!

You can follow her on Twitter or like her on her Facebook fan page.

Hater Alert! Miss France Speaks Out on Miss Angola's Miss Universe Win

Miss France is throwing shade at Miss Angola right now.

Haters, boy!

Here is what she had to say about her winning the crown:

"She was the only girl I didn’t know very well. We didn’t see her much; she was very discreet. She was often in jeans and not wearing makeup. We were all surprised by her win. Many girls made efforts that were not rewarded. I don’t know, something is missing in her temperament. The fact that the competition was held in Brazil surely played a role.”

Damn girl! Bitter much?

And what was missing in her temperament exactly?

The ability to act like a thirsty hoe? I understand these women have to mingle, but what did she want from the girl? To reveal the insides of her uterus and social security number??

I mean, seriously. Since when was it a crime, not to get a boob and nose job, or remove your ribs to make your waist look smaller?

I'm going to assume that she's really mad that she didn't walk around smiling and kissing each and every one of those phony women and judges, like she did. Pissed that she did not spend three hours in her bathroom painting makeup on her face. Heated that she refused to wear dresses that required her to suck in her stomach for 12 hours each day. And to top it off, the anti-hoe had the nerve NOT to walk around in excruciatingly painful heels during their time in Sao Paulo.

I get it.

Girl, Bye!!!! Go sit your ass down in a corner somewhere and eat some Grey Poupon!

*Next time don't try so hard.

Jimjilbang: A Real Bathing Experience

I have never experienced anything like a jimjilbang before, but my Indian girlfriend has spoken about these Korean bath spas a few times. She's in love with them because of similar spas in India that go through the same steps to cleanse, scrub, and purify your skin.

She even demonstrated a few modified steps within her women's locker room which included:

Pool. Sauna. Shower. Cleanse. Scrub. And, I mean scrub hard. Condition hair. Apply face masks. Sit in eucalyptus steam room. Then shower again.

A few products I used in the shower included:

The Body Shop's Cocoa Butter Body Scrub, $18

Moroccan Intense Hydrating Hair Mask, $33

Oil of Olay's Silk Whimsy Cleansing Body Wash for $6 to keep my skin and hair soft and moisturized.

They offer the body wash in a massaging soap bar for $6 that I use occasionally too. The bumps in the soap really do feel like a wooden massage tool.

I also swear by Vaseline Cocoa Butter Vitalizing Gel Body Oil for $6 when I get out of the shower too. Me and one of my girls even use it as tan oil at the pool. Heh heh!

It was by far one the most refreshing treats, I have ever given myself in a locker room! Thanks partly to my girlfriend for scrubbing the dear life out of my entire backside with her scrub glove.

A 찜진방 jimjilbang is even better because it offers bathing areas, saunas, and common areas for snacking, watching tv, and napping. Most of them are open 24 hours and allow you to spend the night on a cot in a open area.

How exactly does this type of bath spa work?

First: you pay an entrance fee at the front desk. Then you receive a key fob on a bracelet and clothes to wear in the common area. You walk over to your designated gender bathing area. Put your own shoes and clothing in your locker. Pull out your shower caddy filled with goodies from your bag. This may include: shampoo and conditioner, a razor, toothbrush, a loofah, scrub cloth, body scrub, face mask,  and anything else you would like to use in the shower.

Second: you get naked! And grab a wash cloth too.

At first I was taken aback by the idea of a bath spa filled with naked women. If the thought makes you feel a bit uncomfortable.

I, for one, tried to imagine myself in this spa environment and could not picture it...like at all. Which is odd considering that I go to nude beaches in Martha's Vineyard...a place where old white men follow you to the ocean water and wait for you to come out, so they can have a friendly conversation with you.

So, being naked around women should not be a big deal. Yet it is! Maybe, because it's a confined space? And not open, like a beach. I always felt like laying on your towel nude was a private time on a  nude beach, and only when you got up to venture out to the ocean. You became fair game to be stared at by old men and fellow beachgoers.

I can only imagine at these spas. There is no 'down time' in which you can take a break from being stared at by others. Even if it is not intentional.

I am infamous for staring off in space at people.

Third: you take a shower because it is custom to take a shower before you get into any of the baths. As Americans, we already know this. However, not every country does this or believes it's necessary.

I have met some smelly foreigners too. I ain't saying where they are from either. Hmm!

Fourth: after you finish your shower, you choose a bath tub to soak in. There are several baths of various temperatures. They're either all in one huge room or various rooms.

*The idea is to go from a hot tub to a cold tub to increase the circulation in your body.

In the bathing area, you can use your scrubbing products or the ones the spa provides for you. For an extra fee, a spa worker can scrub you down until there isn't dead skin left on you. They do not scrub your private parts either. *In case you were wondering. They also offer massages as well for another fee.


Fifth: when you are done scrubbing and soaking and your gender designated area. You can put on the clothing given at the front desk. Then explore one of the dry saunas that may offer various aromas as well.

Some jimjilbang even have restaurants, cafes, massage chairs, and nail salons available for extra fees that are accrued on your key fob.

Whether you spend the night is up to you. Since you would be sleeping in a open room full of strangers of the same sex. But if you go with a few friends, it could be a pretty fun experience if you keep to yourselves.

I will definitely visit a 찜진방 jimjilbang when I get there!

The Korean Alphabet

After sharing my plans to teach in Korea, quite a few people asked me, if I knew any Korean - or if I started learning it. When I responded 'no' nonchalantly, they either gave me a look of disbelief or a "Oh, you think you're such a smart bitch, huh?" smug kind of look.

I don't believe to be any smarter than the next person either. 

My language school told me not to worry about learning Korean in a rush, because they would teach me Korean free of charge. 

So. 

I haven't worried about it too much.

I tried to explain to everyone that many Koreans in Seoul already speak English. This includes the ones that I'll teach at the language school. The ones who don't know much English? I have been trained with online modules on how to communicate through hand gestures, expressions, and word(s) like, 'very good' and 'excellent.'

I mean....it's not like these people don't know a lick of English, and that's why they hire us to go over there and teach them. They hire us to become entirely fluent.

Sad to say it! But unlike our country, Koreans value education. It's very important to them to succeed in their professional careers. And well. In order to be successful, they understand the importance of learning what is considered a global language.

In a effort to get myself prepared for learning Korean. I started memorizing Hangul which is the Korean alphabet.

What I am hearing from others is that the Korean alphabet is very easy to learn. And get this! It could take only 35 minutes to learn. 

Ha! 

But not me. 

I spend way too much time analyzing each character and then comparing them to the others. Time never works in my favor....always against me.

 

The next tip I learned about learning Korean? 

I should learn how to read it first. There is suppose to be a scientific way of writing that helps you learn it quickly. 

Oh, and a perfectly good reason why I am memorizing and writing these characters down everyday?

If you don't learn the writing, then you’ll have a hard time pronouncing things correctly.

That's all I needed to hear to get the ball rolling!

*cracks knuckles

I thought it might be interesting to share some of what I learned so far.

Like the fact that Hangul is an alphabetic syllabary. Have no idea what that means? In plain English, it means there is a character for each sound. Only they are put together in syllabic units. Each syllabic unit forms a character in itself. 

Example: the name [Dan] in English, in Korean format would be written like this: .

There are four possible spots for letters in Korean. 

In the diagram below: 

C means consonant, and V means vowel.  There must always be something in the first C position and the V position, but the C positions on the bottom are always optional:

See how it's like a math/scientific equation that can be plugged in easily?

Hangul has 14 consonants, 5 double consonants, and 10 vowels.

The letters are grouped into syllable blocks containing an initial consonant (which may be silent or double), one or two vowels (below or to the right), and sometimes a final consonant (below). 

Just like I mentioned in the diagram:

  

Here is an example of some Korean words grouped together:

 

If you look closely at them. You can break down each symbol and identify it in the alphabet. 

Going back and forth between the words and the alphabet, makes me feel like I'm deciphering codes!

This is all I learned thus far. Once I master writing them down and remembering the English equivalent. I will work on pronouncing each syllable.

Good day.