The Best Female Rapper is _________.

Not Lil' Kim or Nicki Minaj in my opinion!

But since that's all anyone seems to be talking about this weekend...let's talk about it!
While, I believe both Kim and Nicki to both be unique and talented. I cannot say they are even close to the best of the best!

What about MC Lyte or Queen Latifah? Lauryn Hill? Foxy Brown...and Eve? Did we forget about them?

They are some pretty talented female rappers if you ask me!

But what sets them apart from Lil' Kim and Nicki Minaj?

SEX!

A lot of sex. And more importantly, the type of sex that makes people pay attention.

Sex sells!

Someone said that Nicki Minaj is way more talented. They said Lil' Kim isn't that talented. She is just raunchy and uses being a female to her advantage when rhyming. She apparently doesn't write her own rhymes either.

Um, okay.

But how is Nicki Minaj any different from Lil' Kim again? Doesn't she do the same exact thing? Oh, and Nicki doesn't write her own rhymes either. So?

Last I checked, MC Lyte and Queen Latifah wrote their own rhymes. So, why are we arguing over who is the best female rapper between those two?

Don't real rappers write their own rhymes?

I'm confused.

What I really don't understand is why we always have to tear each other down? And when I say 'we,'
I mean we as black people and women. We still face a good amount of adversity in this day in age. We don't need to add something as silly as this to the list.

Yes, I get that Lil' Kim is offended that Nicki Minaj bit her style. But isn't mimicking someone the highest form of flattery? Why take it so personally? Why not embrace someone who obviously looks up to you? Instead of breaking them down. She's younger than her, and probably still trying to figure out who she 'is' and wants to be one day.

What I will say about the whole fight is that if I were Nicki Minaj. I would keep quiet and not get caught up in the drama that is Lil' Kim.

An indication that somebody might be crazier than you: they get more plastic surgery than Michael Jackson. They serve time in jail for someone else. They promise to get you jumped when they whistle in any of the five boroughs of New York. They tell you that they will show up in your hood by themself to get buck with you.

I would run just like she told you to do. Yup! There is nothing wrong with running away from crazy people. Especially, when you know you can't fight and you want to stay alive.

I support runners all the way.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Closed Door

"When u close a door to ANY type of hurtful relationships make sure u lock it." - Rev Run

Not only did I lock that door he speaks of, but I threw away the key too.

This is why I won't respond to anymore questions and concerns.

Although, I do appreciate that you all care. I will not waste anymore of my time or energy rehashing with you on a relationship that I realize now was a huge sham.

No point. It wasn't real anyway.

Instead I will refocus my energy on my relationships that are genuine and filled with love, honesty, and trust.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

For Colored Girls Who Committ Suicide When the Rainbow is Not Enough

WOW!

Is all I can say about that movie. I have a migraine from holding in my cry, not to interrupt other movie goers.

It was passionate, raw, and real.

Kimberly Ellise, Thandie Newton, Phylicia Rashad , and Whoppi Goldberg were my favorite characters in the movie. If they don't get nominated for an award...then the hell with the Academy members because they all deserve one! Period.

I don't want to give the movie away, but it was good.

Tyler Perry did make the men in the movies look like monsters, this is true. But truth be told, there are real monsters out there...that come in many shapes and forms that include men and women too.

The women were all beautiful and damaged, and I loved them with all their imperfections. These imperfections made them beautiful and strong. I never thought it possible to hate and love a character at the same time, but Tyler Perry made me feel that way.

In the end they spoke about the word, 'sorry.' How that word attached to more words, affected them in a way that has shaped their very being.

My final thought after seeing the movie?

Is Tyler Perry gay? Or just a woman trapped in a man's body? How can this man be so accurate in depicting the feelings of women in such an authentic way? Unless you are a woman.

We're not the easiest creatures to understand or read. Or even love. What part of his male being allows him to sympathize with us the way he does? And while I know most men will watch the film, and scold him for depicting them like devils, Perry went ahead and produced this film anyway.

At the end of the day, he could probably care less about how he depicts black folks in his movies. Especially, when him and his wallet sleep just fine at night.

Spent

This means feeling conked-out, completely gone, dried up, used up, drained, and done.

Every time I think about lost time for simple activities in my life, or not having time to spend with friends and family. I just want to cry. It is so frustrating.

I feel sensitive, misunderstood, under appreciated, overwhelmed, and sad.

I have been going to bed every night between 9 and 10:30 pm without accomplishing anything, just to wake up at 5:30 am, and do the same thing all over again.

And now? I can't even sleep-in on my weekends anymore because I wake up too damn early every morning. FML! Serious.

I'm not the only one who is tired and sad though.

Last night someone close to me broke down and cried. They felt the exact same way. They were upset because they were told, "you aren't being here for me...I'm all alone." They were hurt and sad because they knew from the bottom of their heart, they were doing everything they could for this person....given the distance and current circumstances. They expressed how cold it was to hear them say something like that...when they felt this person didn't always do everything on their part to be there for them too. They expressed they knew they were crying because they are just emotionally drained because of other issues, and hearing someone you thought you were being good to say that you weren't at all, was hurtful.

There wasn't a moment that I couldn't relate, understand, or sympathize with them. I felt the exact same way. A different story, similar issues and feelings.

What upset me the most about their situation....trying to comfort a person I love when they are hurt and tired. Then realizing there is nothing, 'I' can do to remedy their situation and make them feel better.

That hurts the most.

I compare their story to mine, and see the similarities: feeling inadequate. Tired. Under appreciated. Stressed. Emotionally drained. Working to fix a situation that you ultimately have no control over. Then feeling helpless and sad in the end because nobody is happy.

I would like to think of myself as a person who is good at expressing themselves and their feelings. I am afraid that I am beginning to lose this now. I guess. I don't see the point? If no one is listening or being respectful of how you feel. Why keep trying?

Oh, yeah. Because it's me. And I don't know, how not to try....or care.

There isn't a more appropriate word for this than feeling spent.

Channeling Run DMC

Does anyone watch Run's House on Mtv anymore?

For those of you who haven't heard of it. It 'was' a pretty popular reality television show about two years ago. It followed the life of Run Dmc, his wife and kids, and his brother Russell Simmons.

Not sure why the show irked me, but it did. The youngest son Iggy or Diggy was always crying about something; displaying tell-tale signs of a spoiled brat. I believe he was 10 years old at the time. He was the most annoying of the bunch.

Then there was the oldest son who's name I can't remember. When he talked it sounded like, he had marbles in his mouth. He was the one trying to pursue a rap career. Sad part is that the youngest son Diggy was the one who landed the rap contract. Apparently, he raps pretty well for a young kid.

Then there were Run's daughters, Angela and Vanessa. They were actually my favorites in the show. Those two were always all over the damn place though, and grabbed most of the attention on the show. So, it was no surprise that they landed their own reality show. Only, nobody watched. Every episode they sat on their couch screaming at each other over nothing of real substance.

The mother's story line in the show was based upon her desire to have a baby. She did become pregnant, but sadly lost the baby at birth. Then adopted a baby girl towards the last season of Run's House, I think.

And then there was Run! He really killed me the most. He made a lot of animal sounds when he got upset or excited. It was just weird. Shortly after, he had the nerve to yell at his kids about acting responsibly and right! He was constantly a walking contradiction. But, whatever.

The icing on the cake for me: Run's reflection time. Every morning he would sit in his bath tub with his blackberry. Typing the trials and tribulations from the previous day, haha! I mean. Who does something like that?

Oh, wait.

Me!

[Lowers head in shame]

Here I am, talking mess. But not just anywhere! In the damn sauna on my blackberry reflecting in my blog, while an older lady is sitting entirely too close to me (when there is plenty of space in this sauna) and breathing real hard.

I just can't today!

Funny how we point out other's idocrasies when we don't realize...we do the same thing!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

The Approachable Type

I have debated this topic with family members, boyfriends, friends, and strangers. The conversations revolved around the color of the men I dated in the past.

The answer? Everything!

White. Black. Asian. Hispanic. Jewish. African. Arabic.

There are few races of men I haven't forced to take me on a date. Indian, definitely not. I was never in a position to socialize or meet an Indian man around town. With that said, let's just say I am a very cultured person instead of a hoe.

Thank you.

In my opinion, when it comes down to dating. It is all about your body language, the location, and how you position yourself in the setting that makes you approachable to a variety of men. I believe these factors make it easy to meet and date black and non-black men. And, this is where my friends and I disagree. They believe non-black men will pursue you because of how you look (not because of the things I listed above). What is the look you might wonder? Light-skin and petite is their answer.

But maybe it's me, but aren't descriptions like that only relative to a person's opinion? What one person may think is light-skin and petite, can differ completely from another person. And who is to say that the non-black person was thinking in their mind when they approached me, "Well, there goes a light-skin petite girl. Gee, golly! Just my type." I mean, serious.

I know white men who date black women with no specific preference in mind. I know some that prefer black women with dark skin, long hair, and ethnic features. I call it the 'Naomi Campbell' syndrome. Some prefer light-skin black women as well, but if that is the case. They usually tend to like exotic Asian, Hispanic, and Indian women as well.

However, I would like to think that it is less about a look, and more about a type. I am a social person. I am educated. I can keep up in a conversation with strong personalities. I make eye contact with people. I am interested in learning about other people, places, and things. I am open to many ideas. I do not hold prejudices against anyone. I can make racist statements at times, yes. Not ever with the intention of being malicious though.

Wouldn't most of these tidbits qualify me for being approachable? Rather than just possessing a look?

I think, yes!

I know a couple of approachable friends that people like, regardless of race. My childhood friend who lives in New York is approachable. She smiles a lot. That makes people instantly feel comfortable. My sister is approachable. She has a friendly demeanor that strangers can see instantly. I know a particular guy who is approachable. He will engage any soul that is listening in conversation, he has the gift of gab.

At the end of the day, engaging those you would normally not; has nothing to do with a look. Because if you are attractive, but lack substance there is nothing a look can do. It has everything to with the qualities you possess...or in other cases, money.

Just keeping it real.

Kanye and Bush

I'm not sure if any of you know where I am going with this one, but I just have to say it! Even if it is the end of our friendship.

Kanye West and George Bush are both idiots with a lot in common!

I wonder if Bush's peers look at him, the same way we look at Kanye West? Now, I won't assume you all think of Kanye West as your peer. But don't act, like you don't know what I mean!

Kanye West can best be describes as an embarrassment to the following groups: African Americans, Intellectuals, Democrats, musicians, artists, mothers, ex-girlfriends, and pop culture society.

While George Bush can best be described as an embarrassment to the following groups: Americans (all nationalities), Intellectuals, Republicans, his daughters/nieces, Harvard, and many people in Texas who remain silent.

Everyone thinks that Kanye West is so inspirational. He knows how to make connections to many people in this nation. He is not the nicest or most articulate person, but for some reason people still show compassion for him. When he stole Taylor Swifts thunder at the MTV Music Awards and received the 'Chris Brown' treatment for months, people started to feel bad for him. Many started making excuses for him, "Oh, he was drunk!" "He was just being Kanye." "He's just young and foolish." "He's just arrogant." Everyone and their mother called him an idiot, but still sympathized for him.

Now.

If you plug-in Bush's name above, can you identify some of the similarities between them?

Bush is respected by many Republicans and people in the oil business too. He's not articulate either, despite a Harvard education. I mean, you would have thought him a 'college drop-out.' Ha! He started a war that our military had no business fighting in overseas. Then 9-11 happened....Hurricane Katrina came after it. His response to helping New Orleans was appalling to anybody with a beating heart. Yet people still symphathized for him as well. "He was in shock." "He didn't know what to do." "He had little control over things in office, that was his cabinet who handled it!" "He is an alcoholic." "His father made him that way."

Why must people make excuses for two of the country's biggest idiots?

Kanye thinks Bush hates black people. Bush thinks that Kanye calling him a racist was one of the most horrible moments for him in office.

Please.

Both of them are a joke! They are arrogant and self-centered. They spew out nonsense without thinking it through in their minds. They are too rich to know how to connect with people anymore. They are surrounded by too many enablers. And chances are, they could be the best of friends...if Kanye could look past the fact that he destroyed our economy and created additional enemies for us...and Bush could look past the fact that he said he hates black people and didn't vote for him.

I can't stand either one of them. But they should hug it out. Then go sit their asses down in a damn corner somewhere until we say, "it's time to get up."

I am that tired of hearing them talk. Just mean, I know.

Zodiac

"You can't always be in perfect sync with the people around you. It may feel like you're missing out on the joke or are a bit late to the party, but this feeling will soon pass. Don't let it unnerve you or weaken your self-confidence. You've got some special plans coming up, and they could be distracting your energy right now. The good news is that by being out of step, you're getting a revealing look at some key players."

[blank stare]

That was my astrology reading for today. And, no. I have no idea how this relates to my life today?

I am always the one telling terrible jokes that nobody ever gets, not vice versa! So what the hell are they talking about? Oh, and trust me. I'm not letting anything or one distract me from my 'special plans' coming up. You better believe that!

Astrology readings barely ever relate to my life. Maybe, like 15% of the time. And even the ones that I can sort of relate to? It's like I had to force a connection with keywords and my current situation. Or think extra hard about these predictions..."a stranger from the past will contact you." Me! Why? And what do they want from me?

I use to stress myself out over those readings.

And why wouldn't I? I thought in my mind, 'this has to be right.' If the Leo/Cancer zodiac signs could describe me perfectly (despite being on the cusp), then why wouldn't the readings be true?

Well, they're just not. And, yes. It only took me 29 years to figure this one out. I was a believer! Kill me.

Conclusion: A super-sensitive or a smart guy named Bob writes millions of these 'general' readings everyday. Bob, most likely did research on the common stresses of people who range in age from 25 to 80 years old (old folks love horoscopes). The super-sensitive senses their way through readings. They can feel the happiness or tension of others caused by money, love, and death. So, they write about these things.

I mean, who isn't hurting by the economy? Don't say, Bush. He's not human, and neither are the people in Hollyweird. Rich people are hurting and poor people are dying, period.

Who is looking for love? Already in love? I know many people who stay in love. No, resting periods for them at all. As soon as one lover goes down in the flames, another new comes up. I am certain there is a speed dial system to find rebounds too. It is called Myspace, Gmail, Yahoo, Facebook, Hotmail, and Linkedln.

Who knows of someone relatively close who passed away recently? I do. Ever heard of the idea of famous people dying in groups of 6? Creepy. But is so true! But only because people die everyday, we just don't know every single one of them personally.

Back on subject, it is safe to say that I believe in astrological signs...just not these detailed readings provided everyday about my sign.

Phaedra

I'm on a roll about babies today. So, I just have one final thing to say about Phaedra from Housewives of Atlanta.

What the hell is wrong with her? She embarrasses me with her ignorance. She is suppose to be this successful lawyer, yet something is really wrong with her. Really wrong!

List of Things Wrong with Phaedra:
1) She believes her husband should shower her with material items instead of focusing on their emotional needs. 2) She just loves foie gras! 3) She thought it would be cute to suck on a pickle during her pregnant photo shoot. 4) She thinks putting confection sugar in her vajayjay makes it nice and sticky. 5) She doesn't know how far along she is in her pregnancy. 6) She plans to be induced during her seventh month of pregnancy. 7) She wears a white eyeliner on top of her mutli-colored eye shadows.

I just had to get this off my chest!

I wanted her to be the normal, smart, and sophisticated member of the group.

But no.

Guess I am still Team Kandi and Nene...

Babies on the Brain

Not because I am pregnant, but because this is what women my age (29) think about a lot more. We think about if our eggs are going to be any good? Will our babies come out with 13 toes? Will they have learning disabilities? Will I develop arthritis by the time my child is playing on a soccer field? Will my kid's friends ask them, "are those your grandparents?" And more, importantly. Do I even want to have a baby at this point in my life? Adoption could be an option, but living my life child-free could be another one too.

Those questions may seem silly, but the older we get the louder our biological clock ticks, and that's real.

Which brings me to the topic of my young 21 year old co-worker. She expressed to me just last week that she plans on having a baby next year. At age 22 years old. She has no partner, boyfriend, or husband to conceive this baby with next year, btw. But there is one prospect.....this guy with the pretty hair and nice lips.

My response: really, why?
Her response: I know I'll be ready to have a baby next year. Plus, my mother says it's okay!

Um, okay.

But curious, since when did feeling you're ready to have a baby or receiving the approval to have a baby make it okay to actually have one? Just because I want to blow my entire paycheck on a trip to Hawaii or punch my old boss in the face; doesn't mean I should do it.

That's just crazy!

Now, I remember when I was her age....thought I had it figured out. At 21, I would have my fabulous career after graduation. At 22 years old, I would be married. By 25? I would have my first baby, a girl...and lots of pink! Life would be grand. Then I would have my second baby, a boy! Then I would live happily ever after...and then I woke up. I realized there was much more to do and see, and the boyfriend/husband and baby plans could be put on hold for a later date.

What bothers me the most about my coworker's statement is her enabler, her mother. What ever happened to encouraging your children to have a career first and a family second? Or encouraging them to travel the world and meet different types of people? So, when they return home. They can share with you, what they learned from these countries.

I don't mean to judge, and that is exactly what I am doing here. I know! But aren't we selling ourselves and our children short when we don't explore our options? I noticed many of the children that I taught in Baltimore weren't told they could go to college to become a doctor...or even graduate high school. And, why not? Because they didn't know this idea to be an option for them?

That makes me so angry!

I only wish every young person knew they could do whatever they want in life. Of course, not without a struggle. But they can do it!

Now, I do realize there are people with very specific goals in life. To have a family (or baby) could be one. To be successful in your career is another one. To just be happy is a possible one too, but only for the humble or the people who have (or had) fucked up lives. I have no issues with that at all. I just hope these people with very specific goals know there are other options for them too.

It makes me sad when we don't dream big. Because it means we weren't dreaming big to begin with...and where's the fun in that?

Sweet Sounds to My Ears

Good morning. How are you? Thank you. You look pretty today! Have you lost some weight? Quota! You look the same age as those high school girls. I love you! Your hair looks really nice. I miss you. You made me feel better. You are so crazy! Good night.

Whomever said flattery and kindness will get you far, ain't never lied!

I  won't ever forget to say words like these to anyone, because I know it only takes one compliment or kind word to brighten up the day of a friend or even a stranger.

What are sweet words to you ears? I'm not taking notes or anything. Just wondering.

Look, Ma! I'm a Blogger Now.

It only took me two hours of feeling frustrated, not being able to sleep, and a bad movie (actually two) from Redbox to create my very first blog at 2:41 am.

What do I hope to gain from this blogging thing? A new way to express myself. Self-reflection on the good and bad. An opportunity to make myself laugh, and you. Or maybe not, if you don't find me funny. Obviously, I want my words to be heard. Hear your opinions too, regardless if you agree with me or not.

In The Diaries of Little Retta, I promise not be afraid to speak my mind. I will not cuss up a storm. I will not get ugly before 2 pm. I will keep the content written appropriate (to my standards). I will not shout out or call-out names, unless you ask me to do it. I will post faithfully six days a week (this will become a lie at a later date).

What have I already noticed from typing this blog? All the frustration I was feeling 50 minutes ago is gone. Writing here feels much better than ranting through a status on Facebook. Only better because it is now my version of a personalized Twitter (since I am anti).

Goodnight!