The Approachable Type

I have debated this topic with family members, boyfriends, friends, and strangers. The conversations revolved around the color of the men I dated in the past.

The answer? Everything!

White. Black. Asian. Hispanic. Jewish. African. Arabic.

There are few races of men I haven't forced to take me on a date. Indian, definitely not. I was never in a position to socialize or meet an Indian man around town. With that said, let's just say I am a very cultured person instead of a hoe.

Thank you.

In my opinion, when it comes down to dating. It is all about your body language, the location, and how you position yourself in the setting that makes you approachable to a variety of men. I believe these factors make it easy to meet and date black and non-black men. And, this is where my friends and I disagree. They believe non-black men will pursue you because of how you look (not because of the things I listed above). What is the look you might wonder? Light-skin and petite is their answer.

But maybe it's me, but aren't descriptions like that only relative to a person's opinion? What one person may think is light-skin and petite, can differ completely from another person. And who is to say that the non-black person was thinking in their mind when they approached me, "Well, there goes a light-skin petite girl. Gee, golly! Just my type." I mean, serious.

I know white men who date black women with no specific preference in mind. I know some that prefer black women with dark skin, long hair, and ethnic features. I call it the 'Naomi Campbell' syndrome. Some prefer light-skin black women as well, but if that is the case. They usually tend to like exotic Asian, Hispanic, and Indian women as well.

However, I would like to think that it is less about a look, and more about a type. I am a social person. I am educated. I can keep up in a conversation with strong personalities. I make eye contact with people. I am interested in learning about other people, places, and things. I am open to many ideas. I do not hold prejudices against anyone. I can make racist statements at times, yes. Not ever with the intention of being malicious though.

Wouldn't most of these tidbits qualify me for being approachable? Rather than just possessing a look?

I think, yes!

I know a couple of approachable friends that people like, regardless of race. My childhood friend who lives in New York is approachable. She smiles a lot. That makes people instantly feel comfortable. My sister is approachable. She has a friendly demeanor that strangers can see instantly. I know a particular guy who is approachable. He will engage any soul that is listening in conversation, he has the gift of gab.

At the end of the day, engaging those you would normally not; has nothing to do with a look. Because if you are attractive, but lack substance there is nothing a look can do. It has everything to with the qualities you possess...or in other cases, money.

Just keeping it real.