You're a Slut and Selfish Too!

"But but...why can't I talk about how cute my dress is all night? Or have meaningless sex while I look for a husband? This dress was expensive, you know!"

I discovered article # 632 on why us women aren't married today!

Being a slut and selfish are the main reasons we aren't married too.

Well.

Those are two of the reasons listed in the article Why You're Not Married.

I must say though!

I agree those are two of the main reasons many of us aren't married today.

If we can't even commit to getting to know one person, because another person caught our eye a split second later...how do we expect to settle down with anyone? When we're still searching for the BBD (Bigger Better Deal). Or what about if we're too busy between the sheets with Right Now Randy? How can one expect to meet....or have time to meet Here to Stay Stanley? Serious.

What the author said about a woman getting attached to man she is sleeping with is so true too! A man could act and look equivalent to a damn obnoxious hairy gorilla and a woman would still bond with him through sex...human nature. Women are infamous for dating 3s when they are 9s and 10s for that reason alone. Not that dating a 3 is such a bad idea these days. 3s usually have more potential and character than most 10s do anyway.

There were a few valid points in that article about being selfish too. We are so self absorbed that we obsess over ourselves...leaving little room for others. We do put our careers first...then look around in confusion, because we don't know why we're single or when our potential mates disappeared? We want others to revolve around us, instead of revolving around each other. We have a list of demands that we want our mates to meet, yet we are reluctant to give into their demands. We get so caught up in thinking about what our mates can do for us, we don't consider what we can even offer them...if we have anything to offer.

No one wants to have a one-sided conversation with a partner who talks about thyself all day long. Or listen to them complain about their issues all the time. Or talk about what they wore from head to toe in full detail. Or even worse, how awesome they looked wearing it.

This type of behavior isn't conducive to marriage. Or to even helping us make healthy connections with each other.

What I hate the most about this truthful article?

How it focuses in on women. When this should really be directed to both men and women. These are issues once again that we all encounter as single people. Of course....women think about getting married more than men.

But, please believe! 

There are men out there wondering why their asses are still single too. These are the same ones who blame being single on the crazy and deceitful women they encounter...or the right time never presenting itself....or their busy work schedules....with never a thought that the reason they are really single is because of them.

What we should take from this article? Taking a closer look in the mirror is a must, because our own behavior and actions could be the cause of many of our concerns....aside from being single or unmarried.

What is a SAHG?

SAHG stands for a stay-at-home-girlfriend, not to be confused with a stay-at-home-wife.

A blogger named Quiana Stokes wrote about the term in
How to Survive as a SAHG (stay-at-home-girlfriend)
on an entertainment website called Brokelyn.

Okay!

I hope you took a long moment to read her post in order to absorb all of that in!

After discovering this post on a friend's Facebook page, me and my huge opinionated mouth brought this topic up for discussion with friends at happy hour. It turned quickly into a huge shouting match between me, three gentlemen and a lady. If you can imagine...the gentlemen did not feel there was anything wrong with the things Quiana did for her boyfriend. The lady didn't think so either. Please note: as sweet as the lady I had this discussion with is...she is not the brightest bulb in the world. From previous stories she shared, it was clear....she is June Clever disguised as a doormat for the world's biggest asshole.

My opinion of the post?

If you can't tell already....I am not jumping up and down over her blog, like it's goody goody gum drops!

Sorry.

But there's something about the tone of her post that bothered me. Like she was glamorizing her lifestyle as a stay-at-home-girlfriend...or maybe, it's not even that? It could be her belief that if you follow all of her steps, you too, could keep your man during a recession in 2011....when the feel of her post felt more like the role of a woman in the 50s or 60s. If this post was titled What I Do So I Don't Feel Like a Complete Loser in My Boyfriend's Place All Day or even....How I Make My Man Feel Relevant and the Focal Point of My World. I would say cool. More power to you, Sister Girl!

But instead, she comes across like a damn 21st century Geisha....trying to sell a book of June Clever rules on how to entertain your man.

Now.

I will say there is nothing wrong with her cleaning up after him, or with the cooking everyday, or even wanting to look good for him. Every man and woman in a relationship should want to do these things for each other. But...and there is a 'but' to be considered here. At what point do we go too far to please each other? Like completely overboard?

In my opinion? When you spend a majority of your day planning how to make your partner's life easier....or every action made in your life is in order to please your partner instead of yourself? You are taking things way too far!

I won't even go there about her making it a necessity to have sex with her man every night (as long as there is no period). If she wants to play the role of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman that's her business! Not mine.

If you read the comments under the post, you will notice it struck a cord with many women.

Let's face it!

The last thing an independent or feminist woman wants to hear another woman discuss is how she can make her man's life easier. Do I think Quiana should have sat around her home all day like a bum? No. She absolutely should clean up and make herself useful around her home....especially if she is not working at all. My only concern is that she's doing these things for him, not for her....like she's driven by his existence instead of her own...and it appears that she is afraid of being dumped or replaced by someone else. 

Other things I question about her relationship with him? What role does he play in their relationship? We know he provides a roof over her head and food. Should this be his only role though? I think not. And what else does he do to be a supportive partner? Or make her feel better about being out of work? 

It makes me wonder. Because I heard a lot of how to make his life easier....sending out tons of resumes everyday....cooking and cleaning...and happy hour with her friends so she didn't lose her mind.

The real problem with this post? It was written by a woman who came up with a plan....one that sounded regressive and offensive to many women. The fact that she is clinging desperately to her man during a recession made it worse too. If this was written by a man? It would have been a liberating take on the Modern Man in America....tons of envious women would be leaving comments asking him, "Are there any others like you out here?" "You're exactly what I need in my life!" "Do you have any brothers or cousins?" "What a lucky woman!"

Double standards are a bitch.

Girl Scout Samoas Better Watch Out!

There's a new cookie on the block that just replaced the Samaos. Which happens to be the most popular Girl Scout cookie on the market today.

They are called Keebler Fudge Shoppe Coconut Dreams! They taste identical to the Girl Scout Cookie Samoas. So identical, they have the exact same nutrition facts on the back. Total Fat: 8 grams of fat per two cookies. So you know, they didn't skim on any of the good stuff put into the Samoas!

 

I bought a pack of them yesterday....because I am a concerned citizen of bootlegging and making sure they did not fail my favorite cookie in the world. And, now. I am happy to report that they did not fail  Samoas. They taste and look exactly the same, the only thing I noticed is that these cookies were slightly smaller than the size of the Samoas. But to be honest, it made me feel 100 times better about eating the damn things!

So.

This means that we no longer have to wait for Girl Scout cookie season to roll around to buy these delicious coconut cookies anymore. Or buy the Edy's Girl Scout Samoas Special Edition ice cream to get your cookie fix. And let me tell you something about eating that ice cream. It was just like digging for gold nuggets! I would literally dig through the entire bucket of ice cream searching for these tiny pieces of Samoas that were so small and pointless, I wanted to put them in a ziplock bag and feed them to small animals in the park.

So anyway.

You can now find them at your local grocery store for a mere $3.89, no more digging for gold.

I already inhaled half a bag in one sitting too.

So, be careful!

The Girl Code

My close friend in Texas suggested I write a post about this topic because of the on-going issues of friends dating friend's flames during their relationship or after it ends.

Are the stipulations of Girl Code changing? Or do some of us just not care about keeping true to this code anymore?

In Girl Code I thought it was a given that 1) you respect each other and other people's property (OPP), 2) you would refrain from flirting with your girl's man, 3) you would not speak about inappropriate things around or directly to him of a sexual nature, 4) you would not get intimate with your girl's man, 5) you would be honest with your girl about any shady activity suspected by her man, and 6) you gave your girl your honest opinion about her man upon her request.

My friend and I talked about a group of girls who were sleeping with their friend's men. Now. The phrase 'their' friend's men should be used loosely because they weren't exactly their men. They were men these ladies were intimate with and had serious feelings for at one point in time.

The lady who slept with her friend's flame said they were never that serious to begin with...he didn't even like her and it was whatever, because she didn't want to talk about it anymore. At that point my friend and I were not only quiet but giving each other the 'secret' side eye. Probably the main reason she wanted to avoid sharing information with us in the first place.

So.

We felt these men should be off limits to them. Period. Doesn't matter if your friend just likes the guy. If she claimed him, than he is all hers. No matter what the outcome of her and the guy. It should never turn into a Gladiator fight, because it's really that simple.

We also had another discussion about a friend of mine going out on a date with someone I use to date. At the time I didn't think much of it at all because I was currently in a relationship with someone else. But after talking it over with my friend more and more, I realized that it still didn't make it an okay thing to do. It was weird. Awkward to discuss and it bit sneaky. At the end of the day, I had to keep in mind that it wasn't over anyone I cared much for anyway.

What was the big deal about it then?

I guess the unspoken Girl Code was broken. The guy in the equation wasn't the point at all.

Which brings me to the next topic. Should Girl Code only be relevant to friends? Or should it be relevant to all women?

More questions!

When it it ever okay to sleep with someone else's man or husband? Or email photos of yourself to them...posing  on your bed or the beach? What about suggesting they spend the night at a hotel with you? Or asking them to leave the person they are with for you? And if you would never do these things to your friends, why is it still okay to others to break Girl Code with other women?

Where did the respect and decency we had for each other go? Right out the door with our morals and ethics? Maybe. And probably, because there was only room in our hearts for our own selfishness, jealousy, envy, and shady agendas.

Another point to ponder: we get so mad at men for sleeping and fooling around with women who do these sorts of things. But why? They aren't holier than thou! Or the type of men we should even be associating ourselves with anymore anyway.

I mean. If they are messing around on you with shady individuals, don't they deserve to be with someone of that nature? So. Why try to interject yourself between them and their partner-in-crime, like you're Captain-Save-a-Hoe? If they can't see that same tornado, you and I see approaching from 50 miles away. Chances are they are not suppose to see it! So walk away. Let them walk into it! There are plans for each of us that are bigger than you and I.

FACT!

As for the conniving women or men? You better believe these same folks will be just as shady behind your man or woman's back, as they were behind yours....so leave that mess in God's hands. You are not Robo Cop, Cat Woman, or Spider Man. Your job is not to make sure justice is served!

In my opinion? Girl Code should probably be a general Code of Respect for women and men. Since this is an issue encountered between men a lot more than women (because they don't give a damn and could care less about their boy's feelings.) This code should be thought of the same way, we think of the Ten Commandments. If we don't want anyone doing something wrong to us, then don't do it to them.

A Quote Worth Hollering: 2nd Edition, Vol. 4

"FAIL. India Arie really sang, 'sometimes I shave my legs, sometimes I don't.' Gunshot! How you gonna uplift women to the 'put it in your mouth' beat? Have a seat m'aam. And while you're sitting, shave them damn legs!"

Legionellosis in The Playboy Mansion

The Playboy Mansion has always been one of my desired locations to visit. Just for the fun!

Now?

Not so sure.

My parents dropped me and my siblings off at my grandmother's house one summer to visit The Playboy Mansion. My father boasted often over the 'creative' photos he took of my mother with various playboy bunnies....as well as some random ass shots of women with fuzzy bunny tails on their bottoms. His fascination with taking pictures of womens' asses was about as bizarre as my high school friend's father who collected a bathroom full of ceramic breasts in the form of mugs, plates, and plastic figurines.

When me and my high school friend got snappy with each other, she would say to me, "Well, at least my dad doesn't take ass shots of women at the beach and pool." My reaction to this was, "Yeah, well at least mine doesn't like to stare at boobies when he goes to the bathroom. What do you think your dad's doing in there for so long?" Only high school kids can say things of this nature, only to shrug them off minutes later and go sledding.

Viewing their pictures was like looking into something fun and wild going on in the 80s. They were young and in love having a blast, despite having three young children at home. They make me desperately want to go there and be a part of the fun too!

I have to find some of their pictures and post them up. I mean. Looking at photos and imagining the kinky shit my parents did is exactly what I need in my bland life.

I may be bland forever now too, because making a trip there doesn't sound like such a good idea to me anymore.

Over 80 people came down with Legionnaire's disease (which makes me think it's related Paris Hilton because she is an heiress) after attending an after party at Hugh Hefner's Playboy mansion. There are claims that the disease was omitted from a fog machine because the disease lives in warm water and the people at the party were breathing this fog into their lungs all evening.


According to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Legionnaires' disease is caused by a bacteria called Legionellosis. It's a form of pneumonia that causes a high fever, chills, and a cough.

When 80 of the unluckiest people left this party, they all experienced fevers and problems breathing. But Playboy's mouthpiece is denying that the fog machine was the cause,  because others were in the fog and did not get sick from it.

Um.

So what?

Just because everyone who attended the party didn't start gasping for air and swine flu'ing it up in their beds does not mean this fog machine is not a possibility. Our immunity to viruses can vary. I don't see how anyone can conclude an investigation in one go either.

Not buying it.

Sounds like Playboy is trying to cover their asses because they smell 80...possibly more than 80 lawsuits flying fast their way.

And if it wasn't the fog machine spreading Legionnaire, it was probably the food or drinks served that evening. I do believe that it is worse, no? So. Why not be quiet and wait for the investigation to be completed thoroughly?

I would think that if anyone would catch a virus there, they would really be catching it from taking a dip in that heated indoor cave. Can you imagine the bacteria reproduced inside of that grotto? I would not be surprised if new strains of STDs were created in that thing.

Either way, people will think about the time The Playboy Mansion broke out in that nasty disease...and think twice about eating the food....if they don't refuse to go there in fear of catching a disease, not related to sexual relations.

Just saying.

*update: the viral infection is now being called Pontiac Fever and 170 people are said to be affected with it.

Bleeding Nipples?

A former classmate of mine from middle school just posted up a picture of himself at the gym with his nipples bleeding through his shirt on Facebook.

[I do know posting this is wrong, but wow...just wow!]

I mean, seriously.

What the hell is going on here?

Looking at his picture makes my nipples tingle and sting!

Our nipples have to be one of the most sensitive parts of our bodies! I mean. Can you imagine?

Apparently, when you run longer than 45 minutes. It can cause chaffing of your nipples which leads to bleeding.

OUCH!!!

I am sorry. But I have definitely gone running for over an hour on more than one occassion, and not once did my Itty Bitties start to sting, chaff, or bleed.

They may have felt sore but that's about it.

Just saying!

Shit looks painful.

And it makes me wonder. What type of shirts are these folks with bleeding nipples wearing? How do they run too? Gallop. Run on paths like a mad gorilla? What type of boobage and nipple situation do they have too? Do they not moisturize their nips with Jergens like the rest of their body? And if you know your nips have the habit of chaffing and flaking why not lube those bad boys up?

Man! I learn something new every day.

TAKERS

Let me tell you something! Before you take a deep breath and tell me that I lost it...Takers was a good movie!

Trust me.

But you want to know something funny? I just knew it was going to be a low budget film. I would get a couple of good laughs out of it. Then it would end up playing on BET at midnight...and it would slip away into non-existence.

Negative!

For one. There was too much beauty in this film to call it a bad movie. The tall and handsome Idris Elba was in it...hello! And then cutie pies, Michael Ealy and Chris Brown who played the most loving and loyal brothers ever. Followed by one of the finest looking white guys ever, Paul Walker. I don't care what anybody says because he can get it! I do the chocolate swirl.

Did you notice that I didn't mention T.I. or Hayden Christensen?

Hmm.

It's because T.I. looks so skinny and gross around the mouth....like he smoked too many glass pipes. I think it's funny how Rap Stars are so appealing to women. They know damn well, they wouldn't find them attractive if they weren't Stars. And Christensen? He looks like a pretty girl playing dress up in boys clothes. I suppose I'd like him if I were into women.

Sorry, but it is true.

The best parts of the movie? The chase scene between Chris Brown and the cops. It was pretty awesome! I was freaking out during this scene...praying the cops wouldn't catch him. He was fast as hell...or maybe his stunt double was? Not sure. But I completely forgot he was a woman beater, because he played this young kid brother who liked girls and riding his motorcycle. There was nothing not to like about his character!

Another favorite scene of mine? It was when Chris Brown and Michael Ealy hugged it out in their home...I get very sentimental about sibling love. I most definitely teared up during this part, yup. There is nothing like the love you have for your family members.

T.I. impressed me a lot though. I always thought he looked extra skeevy and dirty in real life...so no surprise, he played the same part in this movie. He radiated 'I'm a villan' from beginning to end...and he really was perfect for the role. I saw his interview on Chelsea Lately a while ago though, and he seemed very cool, down-to-earth, and he smiled and joked a lot with Chelsea. It surprised me. He didn't come off that way in his music videos...I think that Rappers should lighten up. Smile more. Laugh more. They would be perceived differently if they did.

The hot and sexy scenes in the movie? When Paul Walker was getting it on with some girls in his pool and Idris Elba was getting out of his bed in his underwear. I wouldn't have thought these sex scenes were so sexy years ago though. I use to make fun of women who would go insane and start screaming over a man who took his shirt off or was standing in his underwear....like what the hell are you screaming for? He's not even naked. I don't see a penius...a ball. Nothing. What is all the hoopla about? I get it now though. The older you get, the more attractive things about the opposite sex become...the back, legs, stomach.  Basically body parts nobody gave a shit about before become a hell of a lot more attractive!

The pointless parts of the movie? Idris Elba's drug addict sister...they could have done without her role. But I do appreciate that she showed a soft side to his personality. Zoe Saldana's role irked me too. She basically played the chick who abandoned her ex in jail (T.I.) to be with Michael Ealy...one of the crooks who got away when T.I. did not. T.I. rightfully so had a reason to be mad when he got out of jail. He didn't snitch on his old crew and one of the members stole his girl! But damn. He didn't have to kill her and destroy the crew because of it. He only served 4 years in jail for them, not 20! Good Lord. Not to mention that he had money and everything else set up for him upon leaving jail. Bitter much? Money hungry much?

If you are a fan of action movies with some robbery and gangster scenes...rent this one!

Of if you like attractive men. Rent it!

A Quote Worth Hollering: 2nd Edition, Vol. 3

"Unless it's me. Then you'd better answer that shit. Fah'real!"

Lovestoned

Sometimes the best part of a song is the end.

My Asian sister dedicated this song to me on Facebook.

Love her!

We were so obssesed with the end of this song, she created a mp3 with just the end part and emailed it to me. LOL! We played it on repeat for months. Actually. I played it on repeat for years...during bike rides in Martha's Vineyard...working out in the gym...hot days on the beach...jogging...road trips to Philadelphia and Nyc...did I say nice summer days? Yes, those too.

I was in love with this song!

And still am.

I think not because it's necessarily the greatest song in the world, but more because it brings back so many wonderful memories from that time period.

It just makes me smile.

I am so ready for summer.

Justin Timberlake needs to make some new music, no?

Enjoy!

Why Cooties Scare Me More Than Ever Today

I receive many funky stares and jokes about being a germaphobe, but with the amount of viruses and diseases out there.

I could care less.

I will be the first admit to turning down: shared drinks, beer pong games, kissing on the first date, or generally just swapping spit in any capacity with others.

What causes one to suddenly fear catching the cooties? For me, it was a family member.

My cousin died from Meningococcemi during his freshmen year at Fordham University. http://www.nytimes.com/1997/02/09/nyregion/rare-infection-quickly-kills-college-student.html The virus attacked his body so quickly that he was covered in lesions and swelled up to the point of being unrecognizable within a day. Then he died three days after entering the hospital.

To this day, the way he died still scares me. In my mind, kids in college aren't suppose to die from weird viruses. Or die at all for that matter.

My cousin was like a brother and I loved him to death. I spent a majority my childhood with him and my sister on Martha's Vineyard during the summer. I could tag along behind him like an annoying chatterbox without him wanting to pound my face in the ground. Unlike my sister, he actually liked me around him.

To say his death affected me to a small degree would be an understatement.

After learning about Meningococcemi it scared me more than his death. The fact that someone could die from a rare disease that involved kissing, sharing a drink, or even a cigarette was a wake up call to me.

So, no. I will not share drinks. Or allow someone to drink after me. Kissing strangers is out of the question. And it should be for you too!

Sorry to be a Debbie Downer, but today is the anniversary of my cousin's death.

I miss him. It makes me sad. I have an itch in my throat and every sick child and adult that I know is sending shivers down my spine.

So, today I think about him.

We miss you more than ever, Ray.

Love you!

A Quote Worth Hollering: 2nd Edition, Vol. 2

"The bump on Eric Willam's head from Basketball Wives is from when they removed his rhino horns."

I Am a Lovebug Now!

Why? I received my second package this week! This time from one of my oldest childhood friends, C. Ah, why is everyone being so nice to me? I can't take it!  It was the sweetest care package too. Filled with a framed photo of me and C from Martha's Vineyard in the summer of 2009, a cool new Essie nail color called chinchilly, and a music cd filled with new tunes...and with one specific tune by Miike Snow called Slyvia that we coined our song because we played that bad boy out!

So.

It is official.

My gift set from G made me feel all warm and gushy inside...and now, C has turned me completely into a lovebug now with hers!

The transformation is complete.

You come near me and it is over!

My heart is filled with so much love right now. Seriously. I could skip around all day giving bear hugs and blowing kisses at everybody! Just because I want everyone to feel the way, I feel.

Which is love!

L-O-V-E

I have to talk about C for a moment. I have never met anyone like this lady before in my life. I have known her since Kindergarten...making her one of my oldest and closest childhood friends. She literally lights up the room when she smiles. She is one of those folks that everybody just likes to be around. She is the ultimate lovebug. She is so funny. She provides great conversation. She is a real New Yorker. Smart. Beautiful. Classy. A serious fashionista who claims she never has anything to wear....but I realize now this translates into 'I need something edgier and hotter than my last outfit.'

When we were children, she was my only friend who showed up to my birthday parties dressed in the prettiest fabric headbands, blazers, and skirts. Me and the rest of the kids at my parties?  Um, we had on shorts and tops that were covered in dirt, grass and food stains. Serious. And when we were running around my yard with water guns, my mother was afraid to let C play with me and the other heathens! She didn't want her to get dirty or her mother to get upset...which was reasonable. But to this day, hearing my mother tell that story cracks me up!

I love you, C! Thank you for sending me these items. You are so thoughtful and kind. I can't wait to paint my nails and toes with this new color!

ps - I love gray!

Smelling Good Makes Me Optimistic

This belief is partly due to the fact that this week 'should' go down in the books as an epic fail, but hasn't broken my spirits completely....surprisingly. Instead this week is so so. And I smell good!

Why so optimistic?

For Christmas my friend gave me a gift box filled with a leopard snuggie, a flower pin made from a Budweiser bottle (because he knows the art school hipster within me would love it), and samples from a perfume collection called Bond No. 9 New York. He enclosed a note that said to choose the scent I liked the best...but let me tell you, my ass was so damn happy to receive a gift. I completely forgot about the note!

When I failed to tell him which scent I liked the best. He sent me a variety from the Mini Bon Bon Box from the Bond No. 9 New York website. Isn't this lovely? It was hard to open everything, because the gift wrap and eau de parfums were too perfect and pretty looking to unwrap! With my gift set came a 'Nyc Map' that lists the fragrances and provides a map of the five boroughs that pinpoint the location each au de parfum was named after in New York City. The eau de parfums in my set include: Astor Place (overdosing like whoa), Chinatown, Brooklyn, Nuits de Noho, New Harlem, Coney Island, So New York, Bond No. 9's Hamptons, and Eau de New York. Each scent has a delicious and sophisticated fragrance that looks like a an individually wrapped candy in a chocolate box too. I love them!!!

Funny thing is...I finished using the samples a month ago, but it's not me, to call him up and say, "Hey, G. I ran out of those samples you sent...can you give me some more?"

How ungrateful would I be?

Serious.

If I learned anything throughout life...sometimes your friends can make it hard for you to hate, even when you feel disappointed...like that split second, you have the desire to stick a 'Fuck You' sticker on a forehead. But for every time I want to brand foreheads with stickers, he reminds me that people like him exist. This messes me up, royally!

But hey, least I can take a shit week in strides, smile, and smell good at the same time.

A couple of nice qualities about G. He is hilarious. Smart. Kind. A good listener. Charming. Tough as shit. Patient. A talker. Loyal. A sharp businessman. Thoughtful. Extremely intuitive. And to this day, still one of my best friends.

G, can we jog down Kelly Drive in the Spring? Get coffee from Wawa then ride the train? Then walk around in Nyc for the day like we use to? Or go to the bar and drink too much saki until another pretty waitress you flirt with steals your money again? What about getting a mani or pedi together while I listen to you talk about why male nail technicians are not allowed to touch yours hands or feet? I miss you and your metrosexual self!

My theory is that for the five not so great encounters we have with people, there will be one good person who will remind you of others like them. They may appear to you in the form of a stranger, colleague, ex, family member, or friend...and the minute you are ready to throw in the towel, they will appear.

Right on time!

Thank you! For cheering me up, making me smile, and laugh at myself! You wouldn't believe how much it means to me at times.

Je t'aime! Merci encore du parfum!

The Evolution of Lil' Baby Waynes

"I don’t make sense yadda yadaaaaa." - Lil' Wayne

Not too long ago, I went to a night club called Josephines in Washington DC. It was there that I encountered my very first Lil' Baby Wayne...complete with a crisp white tee, dreads, shades, platinum teeth, platinum chains, and tattoos galore. We met in the VIP section. I was standing below him on the floor, like most civilized people do inside of clubs, and he was standing upon the booth dancing with his friends. He began harassing me with a series of annoying questions...beginning with my age and ending with 'where we going for our first date?' I laughed at him, not because I thought what he said was so funny (even though it was)....but because I had a lot to drink and could not remember the last time, I got slapped in the face 9 times in 1 minute by a man's dreads and necklaces simultaneously.

At that moment in time, I knew there was an evolution of Lil' Baby Waynes out here. I had one on my hands that evening and there were more out there...waiting to wreak havoc on young women every where.

If you are wondering what defines a Lil' Baby Wayne read below, so that you may avoid them as well:

Lil' Baby Wayne - (noun) 1. a child man over the age of 18 years old. 2. one who lacks maturity, judgement, and commendable qualities. 3. a male with  platinum on his teeth that cost more than your 30 year mortgage. 4. a man who wears shades in night clubs and bars. 5. one that wears diamonds in his ears and on his fingers bigger than the ones Elizabeth Taylor and J.Lo have in their jewelry boxes combined. 6. a male with more ink on his body than seen on the cover of The New York Times. 7. one who is not as cool as he believes himself to be. 8. one with a false sense of pride. 9. a male whore who runs rampid through the streets having unprotected sex with women. 10. a sperm donor who has multiple children and baby mama's due to running rampid through the streets. 11. a reckless person who has been to jail on one or more occasion. 12. a male who likes to swing his long ass dreads repeatedly in your face and eye balls to get your attention. 13 one who is persistent and pushy and refuses to accept that no means no. 14. one who harasses you for your phone number standing atop a booth in VIP. 15. a male who refuses to stop talking until you flash your 'I will choke you with those dreads' stare.

* Please keep in mind that Lil' Baby Waynes come in various ages, sizes, ethnicities, and cultural backgrounds. Be ware.

Why is Dating Older Men So Taboo?

After watching another episode of The Housewives of Atlanta there were many strong reactions to Cynthia marrying her husband Peter.

But why? Cynthia is not exactly a young Spring chicken. She's 43 years old and Peter is 50!

The things I heard  the other night about her poor husband....about him being as old as the fossils in the Natural Museum of History (the location of their wedding)....to him pulling out his glasses to read his vows during the ceremony.

Just wrong!

Ah, yeah. We need to fall back for a moment before we judge the man. 

We don't know what Old Man River is working with?

And to be frank, if he's a good man...I would take a partially blind brittle boned man any day over these Lil' Baby Waynes out here...running rampid. He's not a bad looking older man either, and he appears cool and down to earth too.

So. Go about your business, Cynthia!

Don't mind any of these haters lurking around you.

Now. If it were my man and I found his stash of depends in the bathroom....AND he starts playing The Isley Brothers too often. Then we might have some problems. But if he's young at heart, in good shape, and has a great personality...he is a keeper in my book.

Older folks need love too!

I am curious? If the issue everyone has with Peter is the fact that he's an older man who caught himself a beautiful younger model? I mean...I will not lie. I was surprised when I learned they were a couple because I picture Cynthia with a man like her child's father...Leon Robinson. Remember Lela Rochon's love interest in Waiting to Exhale? Yes, that's her child's father. Or the fact that he borrowed $10,000 from her to fund his failed restaurant. What ever the case may be, like my friend mentioned to me...it's not like Cynthia funded his gambling habits, she funded him in a business venture...and for the man she loves at that and there is nothing wrong with this.

If there is anything I can find wrong with Cynthia and Peter....it is that she is too tall for him. It irks me when I see tall women hovering over their short men. It makes them look like treasure trolls, in my opinion. And yes, if you are the same height as your man...you are too tall. Because once you put those heels on, you'll be staring at the top of his head, like Cynthia, all night. Not cute.

Of course, this is coming from a woman who is all of 5'1 with a Napoleon Complex...so, do what you will with my warped and bias opinion...but you will never see me with a man the same height as moi.

Personally though? I am 'pro' women who like to date older men. I mean, why not? I am an advocate for women who want to date who ever makes them happy, period. My motto is 'get it in, where you can fit in' because your goal should be too pursue happiness with whom you please!

Now. I generally date men older than me...but only 2 to 8 years older than me, but never anyone more than 10 years older. Oh, and I believe there is a huge difference between dating a man who is 8 years older versus 12 years older. What I notice about the ones 12 years older...the closer I push to 30. The age difference is not that serious. There are some attractive older men out there who stay in the gym more than younger men. And more importantly, they possess a confidence and swag that these Lil' Baby Waynes do not have, period. I think it's the sort of thing that just comes with age too, but it's a very attractive quality.

So.

I say good for Cynthia, and carry on now!