Babies on the Brain

Not because I am pregnant, but because this is what women my age (29) think about a lot more. We think about if our eggs are going to be any good? Will our babies come out with 13 toes? Will they have learning disabilities? Will I develop arthritis by the time my child is playing on a soccer field? Will my kid's friends ask them, "are those your grandparents?" And more, importantly. Do I even want to have a baby at this point in my life? Adoption could be an option, but living my life child-free could be another one too.

Those questions may seem silly, but the older we get the louder our biological clock ticks, and that's real.

Which brings me to the topic of my young 21 year old co-worker. She expressed to me just last week that she plans on having a baby next year. At age 22 years old. She has no partner, boyfriend, or husband to conceive this baby with next year, btw. But there is one prospect.....this guy with the pretty hair and nice lips.

My response: really, why?
Her response: I know I'll be ready to have a baby next year. Plus, my mother says it's okay!

Um, okay.

But curious, since when did feeling you're ready to have a baby or receiving the approval to have a baby make it okay to actually have one? Just because I want to blow my entire paycheck on a trip to Hawaii or punch my old boss in the face; doesn't mean I should do it.

That's just crazy!

Now, I remember when I was her age....thought I had it figured out. At 21, I would have my fabulous career after graduation. At 22 years old, I would be married. By 25? I would have my first baby, a girl...and lots of pink! Life would be grand. Then I would have my second baby, a boy! Then I would live happily ever after...and then I woke up. I realized there was much more to do and see, and the boyfriend/husband and baby plans could be put on hold for a later date.

What bothers me the most about my coworker's statement is her enabler, her mother. What ever happened to encouraging your children to have a career first and a family second? Or encouraging them to travel the world and meet different types of people? So, when they return home. They can share with you, what they learned from these countries.

I don't mean to judge, and that is exactly what I am doing here. I know! But aren't we selling ourselves and our children short when we don't explore our options? I noticed many of the children that I taught in Baltimore weren't told they could go to college to become a doctor...or even graduate high school. And, why not? Because they didn't know this idea to be an option for them?

That makes me so angry!

I only wish every young person knew they could do whatever they want in life. Of course, not without a struggle. But they can do it!

Now, I do realize there are people with very specific goals in life. To have a family (or baby) could be one. To be successful in your career is another one. To just be happy is a possible one too, but only for the humble or the people who have (or had) fucked up lives. I have no issues with that at all. I just hope these people with very specific goals know there are other options for them too.

It makes me sad when we don't dream big. Because it means we weren't dreaming big to begin with...and where's the fun in that?