Girl Crush

No, not on him!

On this super fly African guy I exchanged numbers with last night.

I'm not sure if he's gay...but I sure hope so!

We have been communicating ever since last night and I am girl crushing on him hard!

Just like how I girl crush with my best girlfriends. But him being straight would ruin this.

Why?

Because that would mean, he's not into me...like how I'm into him, if all he wants is s-e-x.

And maybe? He's not a sexual predator who wants it tonight or tomorrow...or even a few months from now.

Maybe? I shouldn't use the word 'predator' to describe the male sepcies desire to have sex with us either.

But they all WANT sex or some type of sexual gratification from us. They can tell us it's not about sex all day long....that they want to get to know us...sex is not everything to them...but ultimately, they want us to give up the goodies eventually. Doesn't matter how little or much they like....or love us.

Men are driven by sex and women.

To explain this crushing I'm doing on him better. It's like wanting to be all in his situation in a completely platonic way! Make him my BGF (best gay forever). Talk about fashion. Receive his advice...know about his life in London...how he came to have his French African accent...learn about his family...and why he's so cool...learn where he traveled ...how he got into designing clothing...this is what being in someone's situation is all about!

When I first met him? I was standing with my girlfriend talking when I first noticed him staring...sizing me up.

We [women and gay men] can spot men staring at us from a mile away.

I call this the Staredar - the ability to track a stare within seconds of receiving one. This stare does not have to be directed at you either. The stare can be directed towards anyone else within your radar. I believe this may be a defense mechanism...to watch your back - just in case something pops off.

Not sure why, women are better at this than men? But we are.

Men have a staredar but it's always f'ed up. A female will look at them for a split second and it's on like Donkey Kong for them! They're ready to eye stalk you. Club stalk you...and just stalk you until you look at them again.

Women have to be very careful of this too. I made the mistake of staring in the wrong direction plenty of times...sometimes I space off completely when drunk. And the next thing I know? I have some guy beside me who clearly thought I was staring across the bar at him! And the thing about men being thrown off by women like me? They get so confused when their Staredar is wrong....which is pretty much all the time. Sometimes they can get angry and throw out a whole bunch of 'fuck yous' to the lady (or his friends if he's pussy), when the lady gives him the eye roll and the quick 'why is he coming over here' stare.

Rejection still hurts them. Even if it's way less hurt than the rejection we receive as women. They say that they are use to it, but it does affect them in one way or another. Don't be fooled by their, "It doesn't phase me...I'm use to it' garbage. If it wasn't an issue? They wouldn't bring up the topic. They really are that simple.

So simple. They mistake a female staring pass them and around them as an open invitation to approach them. Bless their happy eager egos!

But here's the truth of the matter: if she doesn't look directly into your eyes for longer than six seconds. Or blatantly smile at you. You are transparent to her and she's probably looking at something else. So, don't get excited when she's looking your way with a blank face. Just know that your Staredar is off again.

I, on the other hand, did stare this guy directly in his eyes. He understood and took it as his cue to approach me.

What I saw before I made actual eye contact with him?

He had on a tailored tan blazer with a skinny tie and skinny pants, just like out of a page from GQ magazine.

This is how efficient and fast our Staredar works...we can assess you within seconds, while it takes you three minutes to do. Not to mention that you are so blatantly obvious when you do it.

So.

When he walks over to me, he introduces himself. Then compliments me on my style. I start gushing and laughing, because I am a woman and we LOVE compliments.

*Note the emphasis on love, Fellas.

Doesn't matter how many or few compliments you give us, it NEVER gets old. Or makes us stop feeling giddy, like it's something we never heard anyone say.

Me and The African start talking about how he's a stylist...designs male suits and goes to New York City frequently. I tell him about moving to Seoul...he tells me about going there as a kid with his father a couple times...and we decided that we need to be friends, period.

And that's just the way these things happen.

I can't tell if he's gay though.

What I always heard though...if you question one's sexuality, they're probably gay.

So.

I'm just gonna roll with this and assume that he is!

I look forward to coffee and shopping dates. BBMs about our personal problems. His adventures in fashion. What he likes and dislikes in men and women. What his five year plan is. And what life is really all about to him.

I'm such a girl's girl...I am all about my girls and my gays.


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