Why?
He is handsome. Down-to-earth. I have about seven girls who would appreciate a Boris clone...including me, of course!
[*Correction: I only have six girls who want a Boris clone. One just told me he is not cute because of the shape of his head]
[blank stare]
And more importantly? He knows exactly how to be a man!
In Twitter World actress and tv personality, Claudia Jordan, tweeted that her mother said to marry a rich ugly producer. Since she is having issues finding a quality man to date in LA.
In response to her tweet Boris Kodjoe wrote: “Why he gotta be ugly? Honestly, I think LA is cancerous for relationships. The hustle mentality and ‘gotta make it’ attitude keeps people from cultivating a real connection. No one has time to take anyone in. Everyone is self-centered and wants to ‘keep it moving’ Dudes here are so insecure that they have to switch up a girl every week to hide their ‘weaknesses’. A real man embraces them!”
When I first read this?
I thought to myself, "Wow! An attractive man who stood up and basically said some of us do have substance. Get it right! Oh, and let me explain what's the real problem here....BAM!"
Then he started his own thread on the traits a real man possesses. He named the topic #How2baMan and this is what he said:
"Embrace your imperfections.
Laugh at yourself. A woman likes a man who doesn’t take himself too serious.
Fix or build something with your hands. It’ll show her that you are capable of taking care of a home.
Know how to cook and clean. It’ll show her that you don’t need her but that you WANT her.
Get your passport and travel. A man needs to see the world.
Communicate without cursing. You don’t need to curse to make a point. Cursing shows lack of substance.
In bed, take care of your woman first. When she’s satisfied you are DA MAN!!!
Stay in shape. It’ll show her that you care about yourself and therefore are able to care about her.
Take care of your responsibilities. Anything less is unacceptable. A boy is irresponsible, not man.
Open her her door and pull out her chair. It shows her that you honor traditional values. Trust me, she will do the same.
Be present! Take her in with your eyes and ears. Your attention will make her feel loved and she won’t ever nag you.
Read a f—ing book! (Sorry, violation of ‘no cursing’ rule) But seriously, ignorance is a major turn-off. Book on tape will do.
Have an ambition. You don’t need to be rich but you need to show direction and motivation. Keep a job!
Last one for today: Treat a woman the way you would want your daughter to be treated. Anything less is unacceptable."
In my opinion? He is right on point!
Everything he said about men being insecure is so true! It's not just men though. It's us too. We ALL act insecure at times...put up walls...act too into ourselves to be into anyone else. Some of us don't even know how to make room for anyone else but ourselves!
It's me me me...and rightfully so at times.
This problem of connecting isn't just in LA either. It happens here in Dc....Nyc, Chicago, and Miami.
This basically occurs in fast pace cities with large populations of singles and plenty of attractive mates to keep them this way!
I honestly feel that these types of places are not conducive to building relationships with new people....because there are too many people and too many things going on to hold your attention or anyone else's. I don't see how anyone could possibly get a good nights sleep living in any of these places either....let alone be in a relationship. There just seems like too much to do and see in these places. I said this to my girlfriend who lives in Nyc not too long ago...and she agreed!
When I think about qualities I want in a man...or what a man should possess? They are the same qualities that I should be able to offer in return or accomplish myself. They should never be outrageous demands though...like he must read books...must watch Channel 3 News....must eat healthy.....must workout!
I do these things. But it doesn't mean he has to! He isn't me...and he shouldn't be my puppet either.
Some of us want a mate with a certain lifestyle. One that's maybe healthy...ambitious....or low-key. It makes sense if that's your thing! But we should be living this particular lifestyle already, no?
I mean.
If we aren't living that way, why do we expect our mate to?
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