Where Did Gym Etiquette Go?

Okay.

I am about to complain about the goobers in the gym.

Why?

Because they are fucking weird. I am cranky. Hot. Hungover for two days and I feel dehydrated. Despite drinking about 3 gallons of water and feeling like a guppy fish because of it.

Maybe, if the temperature wasn't set on hell? I could have retained some of my fluids today.

But whatever!

I should be use to this sauna like weather sweating out my relaxers and making my eyelids damp.

Now, moving along to the weirdness at the gym.

When is it every appropriate to jump on an elliptical machine next to me and stare at the left side of my face or monitored workout activity for 30 minutes? I glance back at you. You whip your head back the other way! But guess what? I already saw you!

*blank stare

If he wanted to know what workout program I selected - all he had to do was ask! I would have told him politely. He was monitoring my workout the same way, I was monitoring myself....only he wasn't me or a personal trainer. So, why was he in my business? No. I don't think it was anything sexual. He was in his late 50s.

Now.

Granted I do use dumbbells simultaneously with the elliptical machine - not to be extra acting but to add the same amount of resistance to my arms that I receive in my legs...I notice people stare because of this. Which is fine. But then everytime I checked my Blackberry (which was on silent), he was right there again. So, it wasn't the dumbbells. I was tempted to hand him my phone and ask if he wanted to read my text message too. Since he practically broke his neck to be in my phone.

Which leads me to believe that gyms should post up signs that say, "Dear Members, Please refrain from monitoring other member's workout activity and respect their privacy by staring as little as possible."

Other bad gym etiquette?

How about talking loud on your cell phone?

You know to abide by the actual sign posted that says, "Members: please be courteous and refrain from using your cell phone. It should remain on vibrate." Because I don't care to hear your loud husky voice disrupting my workout. You're too loud if I can hear you over my iPod!

Oh! How about not sprawling your body over the mat too? So, everyone else has room to do sit-ups and stretches.

More bad etiquette? It's something men do to me a couple times a month....they see me approaching the dumbbells through the mirror, so they jump in front of me and pick up the ones they want first!

Oh!

So you know that I'm headed to the same dumbbells do you? How about you graduate from your baby workout and use the 15 pound dumbbells, instead taking the 8 and 10 pound ones that I use? Hmm. That's why my arms have more definition. Should be embarrassed that I use heavier dumbbells, while they pretend to work up a sweat or impress someone in the mirror with their baby 8s!

More annoying faux pas?

How about skipping deodorant when you come to the gym? Or wearing dirty ass gym clothes that smell worse than you? You better Febreeze those clothes! No, excuse. That's the poor man's alternative to washing clothes. I understand not wanting to take a shower in the morning too because you're getting ready to sweat. But some of you folks smell bad! So bad that I have to stop my workout and relocate myself three elliptical machines down from you, so that I can stop dry heaving from your offensive odor!

How about sweating all over the equipment and then not wiping it down too? Nobody wants to sit in your butt or back sweat. It's nasty.

What about leaving your towel on the weight equipment that you haven't used in 15-20 minutes? Then catching an attitude because I threw that shit on the floor and proceeded to use the machine. I mean, huh? Next time finish your workout and stop sashaying around the gym. You may not have a life outside the gym, but some of us do!

Why don't people know better?

Why must they be told these things?

I guess proper gym etiquette no longer exists. Some individuals can't even follow the directions posted on signs. Sigh.