I am up early again!
I need a horse tranqulizer or something because this going to bed late...waking up early is getting out of hand. I need to move Seoul now. I am way too anxious.
And what do I find on the internet this morning? This picture of Jada and Will Smith.
Is there something odd about this image to you?
How about the fact that Jada is sitting in that chair with her legs wide open...like she's searching yonder for her next box to eat out. Or the fact that Will has his legs crossed with his hand on his knee...beaming with his gay face?
I feel like both of their postures should be reversed.
Her legs should be closed and crossed, regardless of wearing pants or not...and Will needs to stop smiling so hard and ease up on that tight ass leg cross.
Now, I am no expert on frank and beans...but I am pretty sure most men prefer a loose leg cross to avoid the squishing and suffocating of their man parts.
So, why is Will crossing his legs like me?! Legs crossed so tight...you're practically doing the pretzel twist.
You know when your legs are crossed over so far, you look fucking ridiculous?
And you leave a leg print on your thigh from your other leg. And it really isn't comfortable. It just makes you look awkward.....like a tight ass.
I do it! When freezing or extremely uncomfortable which is like all the time when strangers sit too close to me in public areas. I mean that's when it's appropriate to cross your legs that tight.
You see.
I just don't buy their union. Everyone has heard the rumors about them being swingers...Will banging baby male prostitutes...Jada eating the box. And I mean. Is it me? Or does Jada look more and more like a lesbian every year?? I swear it's like some sort of transformation for some lesbians who take a minute to come out...we all saw how Cher's daughter transformed from gay woman to a straight up man over the years.
Now.
Don't get me wrong. I am a huge supporter of the gays.
Love love love them!
If I had to choose a life partner? I would pick a gay boyfriend over a husband any day.....they are prettier, better companions, more stylish, and extremely expressive. If I had a son? I would be proud if he was gay. Gay men make up one of the largest groups of successful men in this country.
What annoys me though? When people front and hide behind their beards. I think Will and Jada are one of those couples too. One of my former students in Baltimore city has a parent who went to school with Jada. She said that back in the day Jada hung with a lesbian crew...but guessed she liked men now since she married Will.
I mean, huh?
How are you gay one minute then straight the next? Please! I don't give a damn who you marry...or who you think you're fooling. Your actions speaker louder than saying "I do" to your beard. Now. These people who marry beards don't have to share their business with any of us. I get it!
But can Will and Jada do everyone a favor and stop acting like their shit is legit?
Just be straight forward about it.
You've been married for a long time because you're stepping outside of your relationship to satisfy your needs, period.
They should stop giving black folks false hope about a healthy lasting black marriage...because theirs does not count.
I hear stories about couples who get married all the time...one is gay and the other is straight. They truly love each other because they are best friends...I believe this situation is okay because nobody is stepping outside of the relationship for anything...bringing home diseases.
A long time ago, I dated a guy who was gay. He's the type of gay who will never come out of the closet and appeared straight until you got into a serious conversation with him...then started to notice the signs. My guy friends teased about how gay he was...even my gay guy friend. I loved him to death regardless. He was my best friend. Almost every aspect of our relationship was like girlfriend and boyfriend except for the the fact that we did not have sex...and it was very platonic. I knew he was gay. He knew I knew he was gay...and I was okay with this.
He doted upon me like a princess. Let me be the center of attention. Thought I was the funniest person alive. Never once stared at me like I was a lunatic, when I had a 'Carrie' meltdown over items in our luggage being stolen on vacation...or getting lost on the road. He gave me the best compliments. Was there when I needed him...and gave space when I needed it. His parents loved me. He didn't mind that I was the black girl from Connecticut that could be a little snotty either, because he was a bigger snob than me.
If he weren't such a uppity negroe? Or peeped out hot guys in the store too? We might have lasted a couple more years as besties pretending to be girlfriend/boyfriend. But that and taking our relationship too far with talk about marriage...babies...and working for his parent's company upon graduating college became too real.
I wanted to be with him. But not like that, and not forever.
So.
I get these people in make believe unions who marry their best friends better than anyone.
If I weren't a secret pervert fascinated with frank and beans, I would have married a guy who use to be my best friend too.
I still think hiding who you are and stepping outside of your marriage to cheat openly or secretly is wrong though.
It's unsafe and defeats the purpose of being in a monogamous union.
If you have to fake the funk, you should just remain single.
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