Sharing My Crazy

I have been contemplating sharing my blog with everyone for some time now. Expanding my blog or creating one with my girlfriends is another plan too.

I am a bit uneasy about this though.

Not gonna lie!

I received an email from a guy friend yesterday. He was catching up on my blogging...and said straight up, you're bat shit crazy. Really funny! But crazy.

Now.

He didn't say bat shit. However! I could tell by all the exclamations points written after the word crazy. He meant exactly that! He wrote the word crazy two times in one sentence too....it was kind of like, "Okay. I get it! Haha! I need help."

His email made me laugh a bit to myself too.

Which in turn makes me REALLY want to share my blog. I get a kick out of your reactions. I enjoy making people laugh! Even if it's at my own expense.

No shame in my game.

I said it before and I'll say it again. I like to make people smile and laugh! And I appreciate that you all understand my sense of humor....because not everybody does! It can be a little vulgar. Offensive and perverse at times.

Which is the main reason I am apprehensive about sharing this with everyone.

To know me is to love me....but if you have no idea who I am? All of this could be completely misinterpreted.

Another reason I am hesitant about sharing? If I hardly know a person, there is no way of easing them into this thing. This blog is in your face like....BAM! I don't want to scare people away. Not new people who enter my life. I talk a lot of shit too! I write some serious details about former flames and friends who would probably identify posts about them immediately too.

This makes me nervous.

I don't like hurting feelings and making anyone mad.....unless you're on my list.

I may send a warning that says something like: "Caution: I may have thrown shade out you in the past. Or didn't feel comfortable sharing previously. But it's all love now, Boo! Luv luv! Enjoy."

What can I say?

I am a temperamental bitch. I am the type to cuss you out one minute and hug it out the next!

And maybe? Like how my guy friend made note of my off the wall behavior. I'm not ready for everyone to judge me.

I remember when this guy who use to be a friend read my blog. He made some pretty nasty remarks about it. Said something about it being trashy. Some of the posts making no sense. Me,writing about pretty girl problems. Sounding pathetic and vulnerable in them. Even pointed out my grammatical errors. Which I try to go back in and fix at times. He even insinuated my friends could report my blog to my former school system and get me fired. My blog was private at the time too.

I am fully aware that my blog should remain as anonymous as possible. Which is another reason I haven't shared it with everyone.

You don't see my government name anywhere on here. Nor do you see my email. Name of work place. Home phone number. Address. Nothing! I would never log-on to my blog from a work laptop either because I have a brain. I don't link Facebook to my blog and you won't even find my work information...current address...or email on my Facebook account anyway.

I explained to him that sharing my vulnerabilities, don't necessarily make me weak. They make me human. I write about things that people 1) don't want to say aloud or 2) don't know how to express in words. And I do! So. Get the fuck outta here if you don't like what I write.

Now.

He had a right to voice his opinion of my blog. Freedom of speech. Doesn't mean I have to like it though. He was being a hater. Sipping hard on that Special Edition of the Haterade! Can't buy the stuff he was drinking in stores.

The honest to goodness truth?

I don't always make sense. Sometimes I write in rants. Or it's happier than usual. I can be a bit bias too. I talk badly about the women on Basketball Wives and Housewives of Atlanta. Then write posts about men I adore: Ice T, Steve Harvey, and Boris Kodjoe.

No love for the ladies.

So messed up!

I know this! But if you don't know me, you wouldn't know. I am smart enough to acknowledge the errors in my ways! Then change them.

So.

If I do decide to share? I can suck it up. I may not react in the best way, but I can get over the fact that not everyone is going to love what I say...or find me particularly funny. And that's fine I guess. I have no problem handing out 'fuck yous' and then doing my 'hater's gon hate strut' at all.

Plain and simple.

Any ideas on how to share my blog? Without making it too public.

Kind of funny how I don't mind strangers reading my blog. But I am quick to censor myself around people I know.