Did you ever get that feeling that you're going to do something big one day? I mean really big?
This feeling existed to me ever since I was 11 years old.
I decided as a child that this feeling was something, I was suppose to wait for to happen. Kind of like a snow storm, you know will happen eventually because of the signs indicated by the climate.
As I approached my sophomore year of college. I decided that I was being egotistical all this time because I had a family that pumped my head up with gas, not air. I told myself, 'well, nothing that great really happened to me in high school to think anything big would happen. Coming here to art school doesn't feel like a big deal either, especially since I hate this fucking place. Probably just dreaming big because I was taught to do it.'
What I realize now is that it was never about me waiting for something big to happen to me. It is more about waiting for me to grow a pair of balls to make 'it' happen.
It meaning very specific dreams of mine that I put in the back of my mind because I felt they were unsafe, unattainable, and unrealistic to achieve.
Well, this feeling is back once again. Only it's waiting on me this time, not the other way around.
I know what I have to do now, but I am scared as hell. I hate being outside of my comfort zone. Plus, I have seen too much at a young age, not to be afraid of failing.
On the positive side: I do feel empowered about my current decisions, because I am ultimately the one who is in control of shaping my future as I see fit.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
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